Thursday, July 26, 2007

Family Reunions

This past weekend I attended a bi-annual family reunion organized by the first cousins of the Byler clan that I was born into. It was well-attended and included the usual good food (homemade ice cream topped the list) and inspiring four-part accapella singing, something our family is known for. There was laughter, plenty of family stories (some likely embellished a bit), and good conversation. It’s funny how these events have become more important to me as I grow older.

The leaders of this clan, my grandfather, Thomas, and grandmother, Ada, are no longer with us. Only three of the six sons survive, including my dad. Yet this gathering reminded me of the important role that leaders play in family dynamics. Their legacy affects future generations in ways they would probably find hard to imagine.

While my family shares common biological roots we also share a deeper spiritual and emotional connection. The values, beliefs, and traditions of our family bind us together and create a special atmosphere when we gather for these special occasions. Conversations can soon move beyond the cursory “How are you?” and “What are you doing these days?” to a substantive dialogue about family, church, work, or even politics. I found myself quickly engaged at many different levels.

What is the leadership lesson in my “walk down memory lane”? I know that not everyone who reads my blog has good memories or connections with their families. Yet we all belong to a family and, in a larger sense, share a family connection with everyone on this planet. What will be your legacy to the world when you have passed from the earth? Will you be remembered for your sense of humor, gentle spirit, deeply held values, and love for others? Will you be known for giving people a second chance, a helping hand, or a kind word?

Every day you can affect the lives of those closest to you – your family. At some distant reunion what will those who gather remember about your life and influence? Will they talk about your strict rules and controlling personality or will they recall your passion for life and how generous you were with your time, talents, and money. The choice is yours and, as a family leader, it is an awesome and humbling responsibility.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Leadership Language

Last evening I was privileged to attend a local leadership event called Impact ’07 where the keynote address was delivered by former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich. Regardless of your political affiliation Newt is a remarkable thinker and exceptional communicator. One phrase that he shared during his speech particularly caught my attention. As he talked about the challenges of leadership he said, “Teach everyone to say ‘yes, if’ not ‘no, because’”. Stop and think about this phrase for a moment.

One thing that I have been discovering as I study leadership theory and interact with leaders at every level is how our language as leaders influences interactions with employees, clients, vendors, and referral sources. Newt’s counsel helps to make my point. Let me explain.

When our conversations include negative or dismissive language we will discover that the other person’s response is more likely to be confrontational. Suppose a colleague asks you whether they can purchase a new piece of equipment. If your immediate response is “no, because we don’t have any money in the budget” the opportunity to be creative or look for an innovative solution gives way to a sense of resignation, disappointment, and frustration.

If our language embraces the positive we are often surprised by the unexpected energy it creates to discover a workable resolution. In the same scenario, suppose your response is “yes, if we can find a way to pay for it”. Notice the invitational tone and more optimistic outlook created by simply changing a few words. The door has been opened for further conversation and even if the money can’t be found the colleague is more likely to feel better about the outcome because an effort was made to understand the need and find an answer.

What might happen in your workplace or family conversations if you made a conscious effort to change your leadership language? In addition to banishing “no, because” in favor of “yes, if” you might also consider being more generous with your praise and more committed to offering constructive feedback (both positive and negative) rather than simply criticizing others. Saying “I’m sorry” when you make a mistake is also highly recommended.

The language of leadership will only have integrity if we consistently practice what we are teaching others. I have personally been reminded of this important principle in recent weeks. Each week my journal entries invite those who know me best to judge how I’m doing as a leader. It’s an awesome responsibility knowing that my advice could be influencing how you think and act in your leadership role. That’s why your feedback is so important. It keeps me grounded and focused on providing insightful, practical leadership principles and applications. Who is holding you accountable for your leadership language?

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Anyone Can Cook

This weekend I watched the new Disney/Pixar animated movie “Ratatouille” (pronounced rat-a-too-ee), the improbable story of a rat named Remy who ends up in Paris and discovers that he can cook. As you can imagine, the reaction he receives from family and friends is anything but supportive, yet Remy persists in his dream to be a famous chef by cooking vicariously through a bumbling “garbage boy” in the kitchen of a famous gourmet restaurant. He is driven in his work by the simple idea that “Anyone can cook”, advice he received from a cookbook written by the famous chef who founded the restaurant where the rat now works incognito.

The passion and excitement that Remy brings to his craft is in sharp contrast to the sentiments of a bumper sticker that reads “Many people quit looking for work when they find a job”. There are likely thousands of persons who aren’t energized by their work and that should be a concern for every organizational leader. When work is just a job those who perform even the simplest tasks will lack the attention to quality, service, and innovation that makes organizations great.

So how do leaders recapture or reenergize a workforce that lacks passion? It begins with having an engaging vision for the company, a compelling picture of where the organization is headed and how each employee can contribute to achieving this vision. The focus of the vision must be bigger than anything that might be attempted or accomplished alone and should be simple and easy to remember.

Next, leaders should work hard to match employees and their talents with the work that is being done. One reason so many persons are disillusioned with their job is because their talents don’t fit the requirements for their position. When a person can use their strengths in any endeavor the energy they bring to their work and their ability to perform the tasks will be enhanced many times over.

Finally, our workplaces must be transformed into sanctuaries where trust, authenticity, love, forgiveness, and caring receive as much attention as production and profits. How we treat each other matters. The leader who ignores the needs of employees in order to maintain control or achieve short-term material gains will only create more reasons for people to “quit looking for work”. If you want your employees to believe that “anyone can cook” then create a safe place for them to prove themselves and support their efforts with solid training, coaching and effective management.

I can identify with the passion and joy that Remy brings to his work. Early in my career leaders whom I respected and trusted encouraged me to try new things and learn from the inevitable mistakes I would make. They convinced me that “I could do anything” just as Remy believed he could cook. Today I find myself offering this same advice to readers of this blog, to leaders that I coach, and to dozens of managers who attend my training sessions.

Where do you find yourself in this conversation? Is your work just a job or is it a place where you feel joy and satisfaction? What is the passion that is stirring in your heart? Could this be your next career? Remember, “Anyone can cook”.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Being Real

I have many authors who write about leadership issues that I admire but none more than Dr. Lance Secretan. During the past 18 months or so I have been one of a small group of consultants, trainers and coaches worldwide that have partnered with Secretan to bring the message of his latest book, “ONE: The Art and Practice of Conscious Leadership”, to the world. It has been an exciting experience and a learning process as well.

One of the leadership topics Secretan addresses in his book is the need for leaders to be authentic, what I will refer to as “being real” in this journal entry. In order to be real a leader must consciously agree to reveal emotions and fears, admit mistakes, tell the truth, and live with consistency or alignment. Authentic leaders don’t ask employees, clients, or vendors to do things that they themselves are not committed to do first. It sounds so simple doesn’t it?

A favorite children’s book of mine is “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams. There is one scene in the story where two nursery toys are talking about what it means to be “Real”. During the conversation the wise Skin Horse tells the curious Rabbit that being real isn’t about how you are made but is what happens to you when you are loved for a long time. He goes on to say that it may even hurt to become real but it won’t matter “because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

The people we lead in our organizations long for us to be “Real”, long for us to practice authenticity, because it is this act of doing what we say and saying what we do that builds trust. In the past six months I have observed entire management teams transform their relationships with each other because they were willing to be vulnerable and speak the truth with love. It is an amazing experience to hear someone admit to past struggles, to challenge a colleague’s behavior during a meeting, or to say “I’m sorry” when a mistake is made or poor judgment is exercised. These are the gifts that leaders can share with each other and all those they interact with.

Fear and ego keep us from being authentic. We have been taught to trade our values and beliefs for the approval and acceptance of others, including family. This practice has created a generation or more of leaders that no longer equate personal conviction with practical action in the marketplace. We all know political, sports, and business leaders who are inauthentic—people who say they believe something but act otherwise. This type of leadership does not inspire others or leave a legacy that builds lasting faith in the institutions that make up our society.

How do you measure up to this description of “being real”? If your family, employees, customers, and vendors could offer a confidential assessment of your authenticity, what would the results look like? As the Skin Horse so wisely observes, “Once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” Being real in the messiness we call life is a beautiful thing after all.