Saturday, June 28, 2008

Recognizing Our Discomfort Zone

Each of us possesses natural strengths that allow us to excel at certain activities and enhance the contributions we make to the teams within our organization. These talents set us apart and make us unique. We are at our best when we can use our strengths on a regular basis during the workday.

Conversely we also encounter activities and tasks that don’t feel natural and may cause a great deal of stress. Our discomfort zone, as this area is known, may be small or large depending on how strong our preferences are in the areas where we have natural strengths. Some of us can flex more easily from one activity to another and understand the differing priorities of people whose strengths are dissimilar from ours.

Leaders need to know when they can expect to be challenged by an activity or task that doesn’t match their strengths. For some, this list is relatively narrow while others may experience a broad variety of circumstances that cause stress. My list is heavily influenced by the need to interact. Let me briefly explain.

I generally struggle when asked to make decisions solely based on intuition or feelings. Networking and taking risks are also more stressful activities. I prefer to downplay the role of emotion in favor of a logical approach to problem solving. My feedback is often more task-focused so this may give the impression that I lack empathy for the recipient. These challenges, when they appear in my daily work, can quickly tax my energy and stretch my effectiveness.

Your list will likely be quite different than mine. For this reason it is important that each of us understands the strengths of our teammates so we can collaborate with them to reduce the other’s stress level. If I love organizing and analyzing while my associate enjoys socializing and networking I could plan for the sales call while my colleague makes the cold calls to schedule the appointments. This means I must be willing to ask for help and admit my own shortcomings.

Leaders in engaged, highly effective teams understand each other’s strengths and preferences. They know how to leverage the talents in their group and they also willingly share their areas of discomfort by asking for help with those activities. By collaborating they can enjoy their work while reducing stress and appreciating the contributions of their colleagues. Acknowledging your personal discomfort zone could be the catalyst needed to propel your team to greater success.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Sensitivity Training

Earlier this month I attended a local chamber luncheon and was invited by the staff (without prior warning) to offer the invocation. I’m not sure what qualifications are required to serve in this capacity but I was willing to oblige. (Perhaps my prior experiences with performing this duty were taken into account.) When the appointed time came I was invited to the podium and delivered a prayer that seemed unremarkable at best and is long since forgotten by those in attendance. As the event ended, my choice of words that day became a leadership lesson I will not soon forget.

Within moments of the invitation to adjourn I was asked by a Jewish friend if they could have a word with me. I have chosen to disguise the gender of this person because it is not relevant to the story and may relieve speculation by those local leaders who regularly read my online musings. They proceeded to gently inform me that they had been offended when I closed by invocation by invoking the name of Jesus. Initially their concern caught me off guard because I was simply practicing my personal faith perspective as I have done for most of my adult life. But as they explained their position I began to appreciate how much I have to learn about practicing sensitivity as a leader.

Today’s workplaces and the communities where we live have become more diverse in the past twenty years. It is easy to overlook the richness of culture, ethnicity, religion, and values accompanying these changes. Judeo-Christian values remain an integral part of the Indian Valley and North Penn communities where my event took place. For this reason, many of us who share these values have become complacent about the need to recognize and embrace the diversity that now surrounds us. From traditions like luncheon invocations to scheduling community and business events, there is much more we can do to be more inclusive.

The thoughtful admonition of my colleague prompted a formal apology from me later that same day. A phone call ensued that allowed us both to talk more about the incident and to share ideas that have deepened my understanding and appreciation for a different faith tradition and its practices. None of this would have been possible if my friend had remained silent.

Perhaps that is the real leadership lesson for us to ponder. How courageous are you in the face of insensitive behavior or decisions that exclude the voice of minority groups in your organization or communities? Do you consider how word choices and scheduling events on religious holidays impacts those who don’t share your religious tradition? Whether you are the majority or minority voice, inspirational leaders will be authentic to their values while respecting those whose views are different.

I learned a valuable lesson and deepened a relationship because I made a mistake. Yet that error in judgment could just as easily have been a teachable moment lost without the intervention of someone who cared. I’m glad it wasn’t. Sensitivity is synonymous with compassion, understanding, sympathy, kindliness, and warmth. I owe my friend a debt of gratitude for bringing this word to life.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Lessons From My Father

In America the Mother’s Day holiday seems to have more traction. The marketing machines on Madison Avenue have successfully created a juggernaut that fills restaurants, ships tons of flowers, and sells millions of greeting cards. Tomorrow is Father’s Day and, while I may be biased in my opinions, it won’t receive quite the same level of attention. I will be the beneficiary of a Sunday brunch date with my wife. Our son, who lives nearly six hours away, already sent a thoughtful card with a funny insert. Tomorrow he will make his weekly phone call to check in as well. I really have no complaints about how I am treated on this annual holiday.

My Dad remains a source of love and inspiration. Over these past 53 years he has taught me many valuable and enduring life lessons. Space doesn’t permit me to recount all of them but let me name a few that are especially important.

First, Dad taught me how to be vulnerable; or rather he modeled it for me. Early in my life I learned that it’s okay for a man to show emotion in private and in public. Tears shed in an unassuming way are a wonderful gift. I learned that being strong isn’t measured by how stoic and brave one can be but rather by the depth of one’s love and capacity to empathize with others.

Lesson two is being content with what you have. I’m sure that Dad often wished he could have accomplished and accumulated more yet he never seemed discouraged by his circumstances. While our family income was limited, I never felt deprived or in want of anything. Dad didn’t complain, and still doesn’t, about the material things in life. Oh, he may wish the price of gasoline was lower but it doesn’t fill his days with worry or change his approach to living. I have long ago exceeded my Dad’s annual salary, the size of his largest house, and how much money is in my retirement account. None of that is important if I can simply live with contentment like he does.

Finally, there is the faith factor, Dad’s most important life lesson to me. Knowing that your father is praying for you, watching him lead our family devotional time, and sitting next to him in church while he sang hymns of the faith has left a deep and lasting impression. My own faith commitment and interest in serving at my church is driven by those images and experiences. Knowing that I am loved and accepted by a Heavenly Father is Dad’s legacy to me and to our family.

Leaders are shaped by a lifetime of experiences, education, and mentoring. My father, and his influence, adds richness to whatever I have gained from these other sources. Thanks, Dad, for the lessons you have shared and continue to teach. I hope Father’s Day isn’t the only occasion I will take to express my appreciation, admiration, and love.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Who Is Standing With You?

Leaders, especially in the past twenty years, have done little to gain our trust or make us proud. Too often those in the political arena have betrayed promises made or behaved badly in their personal lives. The business sector hasn’t done any better as stories abound of leaders convicted of fraud or operating unethically. Even our sports heroes disappoint us with their on-field temper tantrums and off-field excesses.

If we are to rebuild the public’s confidence in civic and corporate leadership a new type of leader must emerge. A number of recent books and articles have begun exploring what this new breed of leadership will require. The current political race for the White House is shining a spotlight on leadership in some positive and negative ways. I want to comment briefly on a quieter revolution that will be needed before our country’s current leadership vacuum can be filled.

In communities all across this nation the need for effective leadership is now being recognized as a key ingredient for solving many of our most pressing problems. Our local, state, and federal governments do little to inspire trust or demonstrate competency. It seems that many of the brightest and best leaders are choosing other professions to practice their talents and skills. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

As our local United Way demonstrated recently during a fifteen-month strategic planning process, there are dozens of passionate, capable, and willing leaders in our communities. They are diverse in age, gender, ethnicity, and background. Their experiences and stories are rich and energizing. The power of this leadership contingent can, and likely will, have a noticeable impact on our area in the months ahead. But there is a key ingredient that none of these leaders can provide.

It is inevitable that their work, whether volunteer or paid, will be scrutinized and in many cases criticized. Those who don’t share their political or religious views will likely attack them at some point along the way. In many cases these leaders will take unpopular stands and courageously act to change systems and processes that have been entrenched for many years.

Who will stand with them when these challenges and adversities appear? Do leaders need effective followers in order to do their best work? I have been a leader during difficult times and know the power of an encouraging word, an unexpected gift of flowers, or an offer of prayer by someone who cared. Those small acts of kindness and support, that willingness to stand with me when the going was tough, made all the difference.

I’m optimistic we can create a new generation of inspiring leaders. It is what my business is all about and why I do what I do every day. But I am also convinced we must simultaneously develop a new movement of committed followers. These persons must be willing to stand with their leaders, not in blind devotion but with a sense of purpose and hope in our collective futures. Without the support of followers, even the most dedicated and gifted leaders will eventually give up. It’s time for all of us to stand with each other and change our world.