Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Freedom to Receive

The Christmas holiday season began in earnest this weekend. It seems ironic that the week we celebrate Thanksgiving as a nation is also the time we are urged to “shop until we drop” with an unseemly ritual called Black Friday. Advertisements proclaim the joy of finding just the right gift for every member of your family while stores are filled with predawn bargain hunters seemingly ignorant of any civility or common sense. The overwhelming message of this cultural phenomenon is summed up in one word, “give.”

The human condition has always cried out for connection. My blog postings frequently remind readers that our souls long for intimacy and leaders should be attentive to this basic need. The joy of altruistic giving is an essential ingredient that fosters the oneness we all seek with each other, our environment, and our Creator. But what about being the recipient, the one who benefits from the selfless act? Are we as ready and willing to graciously receive?

Much of our spiritual and cultural heritage places emphasis on being a generous giver. The messages we learn at a very early age are replete with direct and indirect admonitions to learn how to give. Science has verified the biological connections that cause us to “feel good” when we give something away. Being in a position to give also indirectly implies power and control, a fact that is not lost on the recipient of our benevolence. The pressures to reciprocate can be daunting even with the simplest act of kindness.

In a capitalist society the unspoken connection that we work for what we earn influences our views of how to receive. In a tight economy, like the one we are currently experiencing, there will be some persons who are ashamed to accept the safety net of unemployment benefits or food stamps because of the image associated with receiving a handout. A sense of fairness can also affect how we feel about being a recipient – after all, my plight can’t be as severe as other persons.

Receiving implies giving up control over the situation, something most of us are loath to do. Our fixed patterns of thinking have prevented many of us from seeing gifts as anything more than another attempt to manipulate by the giver. This unwillingness to vulnerably accept the gift, without conditions or expectations, is too often driven by our selfish need to remain in control. Is it really a sign of weakness to allow another person the opportunity to help or to share with us? Should fear prevent us from experiencing the joy of receiving at the hand of another?

In a world where work-life balance is a term coined to describe our over-stimulated lifestyles it should come as no surprise that we try to give without learning how to receive. If we are to gain insights about the value of graciously receiving it will likely come only when we are willing to slow our pace and open our spirits to something different. A quiet evening with our spouse or family spent resting and listening to each other would be one place to start. The workplace could also benefit from less pressure to produce (translated giving) and more emphasis on fostering relationships and hearing the silent cries of our spirits (receiving).

So during this holiday season when a loved one or colleague offers an unexpected gift – be it a sweater or a thoughtful word of praise – surprise the giver by being a grateful recipient. Set aside your sense of neediness, weakness, or reciprocity and celebrate the joy of connectedness. Your thoughtful response of freely receiving is one of the most important gifts you can offer and it won’t cost you anything.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

The Gift of Mentoring

Most of us can vividly recall persons in our lives, especially influential leaders, whose advice and counsel deeply influenced our decisions or affected how we approach our current leadership roles. Imagine life without these important role models. Mentoring others is a special gift that leaders should treasure, model, and pass on. It doesn’t matter if your leadership involves being a parent, a business executive, or a community advocate. Mentors are important at every stage and station of life.

I have been fortunate to benefit from many effective role models and mentors over the years. Wise and patient mentors made my first managerial role easier. They challenged me to grow, offered constructive feedback (both positive and negative) about my performance, modeled behaviors that I could emulate, and fueled my passion for learning. While I still made mistakes I also learned how to handle these setbacks and apply the lessons learned to future situations.

Mentoring is less about possessing infinite wisdom or thoughtful advice and more about authenticity and integrity. The most powerful role models aren’t known for their lofty rhetoric but by their consistent behavior and values. It’s easy to say the “right things” but much harder to “live the right way”. Imagine Gandhi or Mother Theresa seeking front-page headlines for their advice about leadership. These role models left a legacy of “lived behaviors” that carry far more weight and influence than a book full of pithy sayings or sound bytes.

Your employees and colleagues are hungry for role models and mentors they can look up to and emulate. In fact, many of them simply want more of your time. Leaders don’t need to implement formal coaching and mentoring programs, although these can be effective when properly planned and executed. Instead, you would do well to get out of your office more and spend time in the warehouse, on the production floor, and in the employee lunchroom. Your caring and empathetic ear is needed more than ever, especially in these uncertain economic times. Intimacy is a basic human need and mentoring provides an opportunity to nurture relationships that will benefit both parties.

I find deep joy in offering mentoring relationships to clients, colleagues, and friends. Whether the relationship is a formal coaching engagement or an informal conversation over lunch, the results are gratifying. My spirit is nurtured and I learn more about them and also about myself. Holding each other accountable spurs real personal and professional growth.

As we approach another holiday season our culture will once again inundate us with messages of gift giving and goodwill. I would offer a simple suggestion that will last a lifetime. Give the gift of mentoring or coaching to someone this year and feel the joy that comes from sharing your knowledge, wisdom, and experience. You won’t even need to add a ribbon or bow.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Overworked and Overwhelmed

This week’s blog title is the same as a seminar I presented this past week to a group of female leaders in our local chamber of commerce. The topic must have resonated as every seat was filled for the breakfast meeting. Probably every leader has felt like they are being asked to do too much with too few resources. Our current economic downturn will only exacerbate the situation. So what does one do when the pressures and expectations of work and family combine to threaten our sanity?

It helps to understand how our brains work. Much of our day is spent being distracted by the hundreds of “rabbit trails” our brain is so skillful at finding. Some of you can’t remember the line you just read because your brain popped a memory or new thought into your head without any warning. Our brain is also wired to use its more primitive parts in response to external stimuli instead of choosing a rational, logical approach. We also find ourselves chained to old ideas and ways of doing things because of deeply held patterns of thinking. If our brain is creating these obstacles imagine how complicated it gets when we add to the confusion by trying to do too much?

In the past ten years of so multitasking has been touted as a potential solution to the pressures we face. If we can skillfully manage to accomplish multiple tasks at the same time our stress will be reduced and productivity will increase. Or so we thought. In reality our brain simply can’t be trained or tricked into doing more than one thing at a time. Instead we force our brain to simply switch quickly from one task to another resulting in a net decrease in our capacity to focus and accurately do our work. When our brain is in this hyperkinetic state we are also more susceptible to health issues, including short-term memory loss.

The real secret to addressing the topics in my title is found in a simple piece of advice. Leaders need to change how we think about their situation. If we believe we have no control, then we will do little to try and gain control. But if we think we can control our lives, then we will do more to try to control our lives, and ultimately we will actually control more as well. Most of us know what we have to do to slow down and be more effective; we simply choose not to do it. It requires an enormous amount of self-discipline to do what needs to be done. Many of us lack the courage and persistence to see it through because the work is hard and we may be misunderstood.

Our lack of self-discipline affects how we lead. If our hectic pace and need for speed runs unabated then we will likely be unsympathetic to the employee who seeks a more balanced approach to life. If we must consider layoffs to reduce costs it should come as no surprise that we will expect those who remain to pick up the extra workload. These decisions fail to account for the most basic of human needs, the need for intimacy. When we treat people like robotic machines capable of doing more and more we will eventually crush their spirits and destroy their ability to master their craft.

When I hear leaders lamenting a lack of innovation I wonder if they have the patience for it. The world’s most brilliant people have always understood the value of focus and attention to one thing at a time. They are willing to sacrifice efficiency and speed for the joy of using their God-given talents to create masterpieces and breakthrough ideas. Being overworked and overwhelmed is a result of conscious choices. So the next time you are lamenting your full schedule or stressed lifestyle, look in a mirror and ask yourself, “Do I really want to change?” It really is up to you.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Bluegrass Rules

Last night I attended a live performance by bluegrass music’s premier band, Ricky Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder at a local theater. It was a much-anticipated event even though I have seen the group perform several other times. If you are not a fan of this music genre I hope you will still enjoy some of my observations about leadership and teamwork gleaned from the show.

Bluegrass instruments are among the most difficult to master, at least it appears that way to this non-musician. The acoustic guitar, mandolin, banjo, fiddle, and stand-up bass are all stringed instruments that require nimble fingers and precise rhythms to play them well. The music itself is often performed at frenetic speeds and the artists must somehow stay focused on their part while blending with the other players to produce the harmonies that make bluegrass sound so special. Members of this band are exceptional musicians and they mastered their instruments effortlessly.

The lessons I learned at the concert begin with this mastery of their craft. Most of us are unwilling to work hard enough at our God-given talents to fully develop them so we fail to perform at a consistently high level. Each time I am fortunate enough to see Kentucky Thunder perform it seems like their ability to play is even better than any previous show. Do you know what your talents are? Can you perform them at optimal levels every day? Do those you serve notice that your mastery is improving?

Ricky Skaggs is a musical prodigy having begun his career at age five. He is also an exceptional leader as evidenced by his on-stage behavior. While he is obviously the star of the band his demeanor models servant leadership. He is generous with his praise for the band, frequently ending a particularly well-played song with a sincere “great job, fellas.” He smiles and nods in affirmation when a band member contributes their solo part to an instrumental piece. Throughout the show he jokes and laughs with them creating a relaxed atmosphere that maximizes their efforts. Leaders would do well to follow his lead in treating their employees and colleagues with similar respect and praise.

Musicians must anticipate the unexpected and adjust quickly so the audience doesn’t notice any change in the music. To my untrained ears the performance last night was nearly perfect and I didn’t see anyone missing an assignment or encountering an obstacle, like a broken string. Beyond the occasional pause so they could tune their instruments it all seemed to go exceptionally well. Isn’t that how every customer and client should feel about our performance? The occasional glitches, if anticipated and overcome quickly, may also go unnoticed. Even when we “break a string” it might still be possible to deliver service that is “music to our customers’ ears.”

I secretly envy anyone who can play music because I love the feeling that accompanies a stellar performance. There is something special about beautiful harmonies, tender lyrics, and mastery of a difficult instrument combining to lift one’s spirit. Perhaps effective leaders can also perform well enough to inspire the souls of those we serve. Even though I can’t pick a mandolin I hope my efforts at leadership mastery touch the hearts of my clients and friends. Perhaps I might even warrant a curtain call.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Lessons from a “Motorhead”

This past weekend I attended my first drag racing event at Maple Grove Speedway near Reading, Pennsylvania with a friend of mine. He is a “motorhead”, a term used affectionately to describe a passion and interest in automobiles and what makes them work. With his expertise and insights I soon received an education in the finer points of drag racing as a sport. Along the way I also discovered some practices that could serve leaders well in their work.

Drag racing is a highly technical endeavor. The races I watched featured semi-pro drivers, yet the level of technology required to field a competitive car was beyond anything I was expecting. Winning was dependent on knowing the capabilities of your vehicle, weather and track conditions, plus the competency and confidence of the driver. The margin for error was measured in thousandths of seconds. Effective leaders understand that being competitive in today’s marketplace requires a thorough understanding of one’s team, the market conditions, and your personal talents and skills. Knowing how to bring these elements together so they function efficiently can be the difference between success and failure for your enterprise.

The level of concentration required to win a drag heat is another lesson I learned. Drivers must not only set up their car properly but also execute their start flawlessly if they expect to finish first. The timing lights on a drag strip tree are unforgiving. When the yellow staging lights are set for both cars, and the tree begins the countdown to green, drivers must be able to focus and anticipate with near-perfect precision. Time and again I watched seasoned racers “red light” at the start and run their heat knowing that all was lost even as they were just beginning. With engines whining and adrenalin pumping it’s not hard to imagine losing focus for just a moment. In racing, that fraction of a second loss of concentration ended the driver’s day and sent them packing for home.

Business leaders would do well to stay focused and help their employees do the same. The very technology we depend on to increase productivity and enhance communication has a sinister side. Emails frequently interrupt our thought processes and force us to begin even routine tasks all over again. Our ability to concentrate has been declining steadily as we face a never-ending barrage of information. Just like the drag racer that loses focus we can find ourselves falling behind the competition.

My race day experience included many more examples I could share. Perhaps they will find their way into a future blog entry. Meanwhile pay attention to the many lessons you can learn by simply observing life around you. From the Phillies World Championship to presidential politics leaders can learn about overcoming adversity, being authentic, and never giving up. Thanks, Skip, for teaching me about the sport you love. While I will never be a “motorhead” I have gained a new appreciation for the talents and skills required to compete behind the wheel. I think my E.T. just got a little better.