If you are anything like me there have been times in your life when you messed up. It doesn’t matter whether you were in a leadership position or not, it never feels good to disappoint someone you love or face the consequences of your own poor choices. What should leaders do when they encounter failure? How should we react when the taste of defeat is still fresh in our mouth?
As a child I can recall more than one occasion when a nasty bicycle fall, a fight with a sibling, or a less than stellar grade resulted in a torrent of tears. Those moments didn’t last forever and I am grateful for the emotional outlet provided through the weeping that accompanied each of these events. Perhaps you can remember the pain of a grandfather’s death when, at age 13, I lost all sense of composure as I sat in the car waiting to accompany the hearse to a nearby cemetery. Or maybe you were comforting a friend or loved as they shared the pain of a broken relationship.
We are emotional creatures connected in mysterious ways to each other and all of creation. That “lump in our throat” is a visceral response mechanism too often ignored or suppressed to meet the expectations of social and business decorum. I will admit to crying in public, or at least choking back tears, on more than one occasion. Some observers may have viewed it as a sign of weakness. That is how I once felt about such things.
As I often write in this journal the world is looking for authentic leadership. Some might suggest that only strong and stoic persons need apply. Yet isn’t authenticity rooted in the notion that how I feel, what I believe, and how I act is interconnected in such a way that there are no gaps? What you see is actually who I am at my deepest level. If I am experiencing pain, loss, or disappointment why must those emotions be hidden from the people I am leading? How can I be trusted and respected if those following me never see who I really am?
I belong to a special support group of community and business leaders that model this beautifully in our monthly gatherings. When I am sitting with them and hearing their stories I experience the freedom to be vulnerable and even emotional. Their love for me and for each other gives me strength to accept the person that I am becoming and to distance myself from the past images of an ego-driven leader.
The winter months can be an especially gloomy time for many of us. The gray days and long dark nights do little to lift our spirits or offer hope of spring. Perhaps now is a good time to cry. You may have recently lost a job or are anxious about a possible layoff. Maybe your spirit is dulled by the ruthless competition that characterizes tough economic times. The pressures of mounting debt or health issues may be straining your marriage.
Give yourself permission to weep, boldly and freely, and not just because you feel sorry for yourself. No, in the midst of those tears is where you can find the strength to move on, the courage to ask for help, the opportunity to acknowledge a Higher Power. Leaders need to reconnect with the emotions that are so often shoved aside in favor of logic and facts. Trust your intuition, listen to your soul, and allow your tears to do the talking.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Celebrating Miracles
By now most of us have read numerous accounts or scanned photos and video of Thursday’s dramatic crash landing of a US Airways Airbus 320 on a frigid river in New York City. Our nation is celebrating this “Miracle on the Hudson” (as the incident is known) since all 155 persons on board survived the accident. The pilot is being hailed as a hero and experts who know the challenges of landing a commercial airliner when there are engine problems describe his actions as a combination of skill, experience, and luck.
Wikipedia defines “miracle” as a visible interruption of the laws of nature, such that can only be explained by divine intervention, and is sometimes associated with a miracle-worker. In casual usage, "miracle" may also refer to any statistically unlikely but beneficial event (such as the survival of a natural disaster).
Was the miraculous outcome of this potential tragedy really a miracle or just another example of beating the odds? I’m not going to pretend that I have the intellect or qualifications to pronounce judgment on either side of the argument. Instead I found myself rejoicing at this unlikely ending to a story that could just as easily have stirred my emotions with overwhelming sadness if the passengers and crew had all perished in the crash.
Regardless of your position on the validity of miracles, leaders would do well to uncover and commemorate the many small acts of kindness, love, and mercy that touch our lives every day. In a world where most of the news is overwhelmingly negative, where employees fear for their jobs and worry about paying their bills, and where cynicism taints our conversations it is time to notice the beneficial events that will see us through this dark night in our souls.
For example, in my community there are more than seventy dedicated leaders volunteering their time to transform our local United Way and leverage its impact. That’s a miracle. I know persons who have lost their jobs but are being surrounded and supported by colleagues and friends as they deal with the grief and plan for a new future. Another miracle. Our new President represents hope and change for millions of Americans and reminds us of how far we have come in overcoming racial inequality. Regardless of political ideology we must see this for what it is, a miracle.
Because of my faith perspectives I believe in miracles that can only be explained through divine intervention and have observed first-hand the healing power of God. I also know that, if I paid more attention as a leader, I would notice remarkable stories of courage, authenticity, service, and love in the lives of my co-workers, clients, vendors, and friends. These are miracles too and I plan to recognize and celebrate them more diligently. I hope you will join me.
Wikipedia defines “miracle” as a visible interruption of the laws of nature, such that can only be explained by divine intervention, and is sometimes associated with a miracle-worker. In casual usage, "miracle" may also refer to any statistically unlikely but beneficial event (such as the survival of a natural disaster).
Was the miraculous outcome of this potential tragedy really a miracle or just another example of beating the odds? I’m not going to pretend that I have the intellect or qualifications to pronounce judgment on either side of the argument. Instead I found myself rejoicing at this unlikely ending to a story that could just as easily have stirred my emotions with overwhelming sadness if the passengers and crew had all perished in the crash.
Regardless of your position on the validity of miracles, leaders would do well to uncover and commemorate the many small acts of kindness, love, and mercy that touch our lives every day. In a world where most of the news is overwhelmingly negative, where employees fear for their jobs and worry about paying their bills, and where cynicism taints our conversations it is time to notice the beneficial events that will see us through this dark night in our souls.
For example, in my community there are more than seventy dedicated leaders volunteering their time to transform our local United Way and leverage its impact. That’s a miracle. I know persons who have lost their jobs but are being surrounded and supported by colleagues and friends as they deal with the grief and plan for a new future. Another miracle. Our new President represents hope and change for millions of Americans and reminds us of how far we have come in overcoming racial inequality. Regardless of political ideology we must see this for what it is, a miracle.
Because of my faith perspectives I believe in miracles that can only be explained through divine intervention and have observed first-hand the healing power of God. I also know that, if I paid more attention as a leader, I would notice remarkable stories of courage, authenticity, service, and love in the lives of my co-workers, clients, vendors, and friends. These are miracles too and I plan to recognize and celebrate them more diligently. I hope you will join me.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Where Is the Debate?
“The Great Debaters” is a 2007 movie based on the true story of an African-American debate team from Wiley College in Texas. Set during the 1930’s Great Depression era it documents the struggles of the team and its charismatic and demanding coach, Professor Melvin B. Tolson, as they hone their debating skills while facing widespread discrimination and terror tactics in the Jim Crow South. The team eventually earns the right to debate the undefeated champions from Harvard University, an historic occasion for that period. While the movie script alters actual events (as all movies based on true stories usually do) it nonetheless offers a stirring tribute to the perseverance, courage, and intellectual prowess that vaulted this debate team to the top of their game.
The fine art of debate is sadly missing from much of today’s business and political landscape. While it is true that differing viewpoints are rampant, any discussion about the foundational problems and issues is often lost in the angry, cynical, and mean-spirited rhetoric offered on both sides. Politics and social issues perhaps suffer the most from this approach but business and not for profit enterprises are just as guilty of unfettered and unproductive discourse.
Debate is defined as a contention of words or arguments so perhaps by implication we should expect emotion to rule the day. Formal debates are in fact stirred by passions and participants use sentiment to strengthen the appeal of their argument. The movie’s final debate scene includes the poignant retelling of a witnessed lynching to bolster the position for civil disobedience versus violence in response to the atrocity. A standing ovation was evidence that the debater had captured the hearts and imagination of the audience.
Business and political debate cannot divorce itself from emotion but it can do more to harness the passion and research the facts. Our hunger for sound bytes and immediacy has rendered many of our arguments impotent of the facts. True debate requires a substantial investment in the quality of our propositions, something we can’t deliver if there is an expectation for speed and efficiency. The movie’s debate team had 48 hours to prepare for their Harvard showdown and worked nearly around the clock to research, practice, and organize their arguments. Few business leaders allow time for careful investigation, thoughtful reflection, or dress rehearsals before a major presentation or planning event. The day-to-day activities of running the firm crowd out time for preparation.
Perhaps more dangerous than not having the facts is our reluctance as leaders to accept the truth as proposed by others. Whether we create this environment through fear of retribution or benign neglect, the consequences of decisions without debate can be devastating. When any voice or viewpoint is silenced because it differs from the stated position or status quo the quality of any outcome will be diminished. Recognizing when key stakeholders or roles are missing during debate is a quality of leadership that needs greater attention. The ability to facilitate discussion when the topic is fraught with emotion is a skill to be nurtured and developed.
Knowing how to encourage healthy debate is a tool every leader needs to be successful. Making time for discovery of the facts, encouraging differing and minority viewpoints, and managing the discussion in an atmosphere of trust and respect will result in better decisions and stronger outcomes. Resolve: I will do more to foster debate in an effort to become a better leader. Will you do the same?
The fine art of debate is sadly missing from much of today’s business and political landscape. While it is true that differing viewpoints are rampant, any discussion about the foundational problems and issues is often lost in the angry, cynical, and mean-spirited rhetoric offered on both sides. Politics and social issues perhaps suffer the most from this approach but business and not for profit enterprises are just as guilty of unfettered and unproductive discourse.
Debate is defined as a contention of words or arguments so perhaps by implication we should expect emotion to rule the day. Formal debates are in fact stirred by passions and participants use sentiment to strengthen the appeal of their argument. The movie’s final debate scene includes the poignant retelling of a witnessed lynching to bolster the position for civil disobedience versus violence in response to the atrocity. A standing ovation was evidence that the debater had captured the hearts and imagination of the audience.
Business and political debate cannot divorce itself from emotion but it can do more to harness the passion and research the facts. Our hunger for sound bytes and immediacy has rendered many of our arguments impotent of the facts. True debate requires a substantial investment in the quality of our propositions, something we can’t deliver if there is an expectation for speed and efficiency. The movie’s debate team had 48 hours to prepare for their Harvard showdown and worked nearly around the clock to research, practice, and organize their arguments. Few business leaders allow time for careful investigation, thoughtful reflection, or dress rehearsals before a major presentation or planning event. The day-to-day activities of running the firm crowd out time for preparation.
Perhaps more dangerous than not having the facts is our reluctance as leaders to accept the truth as proposed by others. Whether we create this environment through fear of retribution or benign neglect, the consequences of decisions without debate can be devastating. When any voice or viewpoint is silenced because it differs from the stated position or status quo the quality of any outcome will be diminished. Recognizing when key stakeholders or roles are missing during debate is a quality of leadership that needs greater attention. The ability to facilitate discussion when the topic is fraught with emotion is a skill to be nurtured and developed.
Knowing how to encourage healthy debate is a tool every leader needs to be successful. Making time for discovery of the facts, encouraging differing and minority viewpoints, and managing the discussion in an atmosphere of trust and respect will result in better decisions and stronger outcomes. Resolve: I will do more to foster debate in an effort to become a better leader. Will you do the same?
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Reflections
The New Year is now underway and for many of us the memories of 2008 seem more like a nightmarish dream sequence. There were jobs lost, retirement accounts decimated, and confidences shattered. Anxiety and fear have become traveling companions for many persons and leaders are faced with a challenging environment that will test our wills and skills. It seems like a good time to reflect on what has happened and how we can prepare for an increasingly uncertain future.
When I chose “reflections” as my posting theme for this week that was my intention, to form some thoughts and opinions as a result of meditating about the past year. After all that is one of the definitions of the word “reflection.” There is certainly value in examining where we have been and what has happened to us along the way. Many of life’s best lessons are learned through reflecting on our experiences and viewing future events through this new lens of knowledge. But the power of this type of reflection is limiting in many ways. Let me try to explain.
If leaders only view current and future events through the prism of past actions and occurrences it is difficult to be truly innovative and creative. The speed of change has rendered many of our views about work and life virtually useless in the context of today’s reality. Our worldwide connections now produce consequences that were unimaginable only ten years ago. When one financial market collapses regardless of location (think Iceland) the effects are felt around the globe. If leaders rely too much on historical evidence they will find themselves captaining their enterprise into a Titanic-sized iceberg.
Instead of “reflecting” on the past leaders should simply learn how to “reflect.” When you gaze into a mirror the image you see is a reflection, not some historical view but a live picture of who you are at that moment in time. Too many leaders are unwilling to serve as reflective beacons for their organizations. In many cases it isn’t hard to see why they are reticent since their behavior and personal character seems unworthy of emulation. And therein lies the dilemma facing each of us who call ourselves leaders. Are there really benefits to being a “reflection” to others and if so what are they?
I would argue that uncertain times require certainty in leadership. Not a set course of action with rigid boundaries and a clearly defined future, although planning and vision are certainly important. I’m thinking about moral principles, deeply held values, and unblemished character that is reflected daily by living authentically and acting honorably. Anxious employees, customers, and vendors need leaders that reflect what is good, decent, and above reproach. An uncertain economy craves voices of reason, common sense, and hope. Business relationships should be built on more than bottom line profits and expediency. The global community yearns for sustainable development and responsible stewardship.
In 2009 we need leaders who will accept the challenge of being reflections in the workplace and the world, willing to answer the call to be authentic and act courageously. They can be any age and at any station of life. So polish that mirror in your soul and prepare for your most important leadership role. Is the image you will reflect worthy of the calling?
When I chose “reflections” as my posting theme for this week that was my intention, to form some thoughts and opinions as a result of meditating about the past year. After all that is one of the definitions of the word “reflection.” There is certainly value in examining where we have been and what has happened to us along the way. Many of life’s best lessons are learned through reflecting on our experiences and viewing future events through this new lens of knowledge. But the power of this type of reflection is limiting in many ways. Let me try to explain.
If leaders only view current and future events through the prism of past actions and occurrences it is difficult to be truly innovative and creative. The speed of change has rendered many of our views about work and life virtually useless in the context of today’s reality. Our worldwide connections now produce consequences that were unimaginable only ten years ago. When one financial market collapses regardless of location (think Iceland) the effects are felt around the globe. If leaders rely too much on historical evidence they will find themselves captaining their enterprise into a Titanic-sized iceberg.
Instead of “reflecting” on the past leaders should simply learn how to “reflect.” When you gaze into a mirror the image you see is a reflection, not some historical view but a live picture of who you are at that moment in time. Too many leaders are unwilling to serve as reflective beacons for their organizations. In many cases it isn’t hard to see why they are reticent since their behavior and personal character seems unworthy of emulation. And therein lies the dilemma facing each of us who call ourselves leaders. Are there really benefits to being a “reflection” to others and if so what are they?
I would argue that uncertain times require certainty in leadership. Not a set course of action with rigid boundaries and a clearly defined future, although planning and vision are certainly important. I’m thinking about moral principles, deeply held values, and unblemished character that is reflected daily by living authentically and acting honorably. Anxious employees, customers, and vendors need leaders that reflect what is good, decent, and above reproach. An uncertain economy craves voices of reason, common sense, and hope. Business relationships should be built on more than bottom line profits and expediency. The global community yearns for sustainable development and responsible stewardship.
In 2009 we need leaders who will accept the challenge of being reflections in the workplace and the world, willing to answer the call to be authentic and act courageously. They can be any age and at any station of life. So polish that mirror in your soul and prepare for your most important leadership role. Is the image you will reflect worthy of the calling?
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