I am a recovering workaholic...although most days I don’t seem to recognize the recovery part. The current economic environment has negatively affected my business and pushed me into unhealthy work habits. Left unchecked, I know what the results could look like. Even a ten-day vacation has failed to alter the landscape very much. When I am feeling stressed it is hard to admit what is happening and to ask for help but that is what I decided must be done.
A couple of weeks ago I shared my situation by reaching out to trusted friends and associates. While not revealing every detail, I admitted that I was struggling when they would ask me how things were going. This simple decision to tell the truth opened the door for further conversation. Some of them spoke of similar challenges, others offered words of encouragement. None condemned or judged me for my behavior.
This past week I told my business partners what has been happening, a step that left me feeling quite vulnerable. They heard me say I won’t be achieving all the goals set for the business this year. It felt like I was admitting failure. Yet my reaching out allowed them to offer fresh perspectives and the chance to share some of my personal pain. The conversation helped us formulate a plan for what might be a sensible next step.
By talking more freely about my struggles I am finding courage to take action. I have begun limiting some of my volunteer activities and trying to reduce my work time outside the office (this blog is one exception to that practice). Activities I enjoy, like walking and reading, are receiving greater attention. Reaching out has prompted me to slowly change the habits that contribute most to increasing my stress levels.
I’m fully aware that stress is a problem for millions of people during these difficult days. Some will turn to alcohol or drugs as a means of escape. Others may require professional therapy or even prescription medications to regain balance in their lives. I hope many will do what I have done and reach out. Including others in your journey means greater accountability and support for any changes that might be needed.
I’m grateful for the many positive ways my circle of family, friends, and business associates has responded to my cry for help. If I had reached out and found no one willing to listen or care I can’t imagine what might have happened. Instead, while the journey continues and the ending is yet uncertain, I am no longer walking alone. It’s a great feeling and perhaps someday I can return the favor.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Buried Beneath
A few weeks ago we hired a landscaper to remove some aging and overgrown shrubs around our home. Prior to his visit a patchwork of red and orange lines appeared at various locations on the front lawn, courtesy of the Pennsylvania Public Utility Commission, indicating the presence of utility lines buried beneath the surface. We were grateful for the protection these warning markers provided so our electricity, telephone, and cable service wouldn’t be unexpectedly interrupted while the shrubs were being removed. Our contractor was happy his workers would be safe during the project.
Around noon on the day our shrubs were being removed I received an unexpected phone call. It was our landscaper informing me that his crew had struck an unmarked conduit buried only a few inches below the lawn surface. Their equipment had severed the plastic but had not cut the electrical cable that delivers power to the outdoor lamp at the end of our driveway. Fortunately I had disengaged the electrical breaker that morning so no real damage was done. I was able to repair the conduit and now realize where this previously unknown cable snakes beneath our yard.
My experience prompted me to think about the many real and imagined things that are buried beneath my normally confident exterior. A few of them are like the bright painted lines in my yard, clear and visible to all who know me. They are those truths and experiences I have chosen to reveal and share with others—a favorite author, a fond memory, a significant loss. All of us have likely found the courage to reveal parts of ourselves to others, parts that could otherwise remain hidden from view.
But what about the unexpected cable that has not yet been discovered? Might those around us see hidden potential, dangerous behaviors, or unresolved issues in our lives that we are too blind to notice? Would we accept this candid feedback if it was offered in love to warn or protect us? Should this be a role that friends and family play in the emotional and physical health of others?
Over the years I have been the recipient of candid feedback from trusted friends and colleagues. Their insights helped me to see what I have buried beneath the surface—untapped potential, underused gifts, potentially bad habits. By accepted their wise counsel I now see and appreciate what would have been concealed from my view. It has been an opportunity to grow and learn.
I’m not suggesting we grab an aerosol paint can and target our friends and co-workers with the intention of digging up dirt and marking it for all to see. What I hope leaders will accept is their role in thoughtfully and lovingly providing constructive feedback to those they serve. By helping them discover what is buried beneath—perhaps some secret potential or abandoned dream—leaders can unleash new energy and ideas. Few of us are fully self-aware. I’m happy to invite those who know me well to find what I haven’t be able to see for myself—to identify and name what is buried beneath—sans the fluorescent orange paint!
Around noon on the day our shrubs were being removed I received an unexpected phone call. It was our landscaper informing me that his crew had struck an unmarked conduit buried only a few inches below the lawn surface. Their equipment had severed the plastic but had not cut the electrical cable that delivers power to the outdoor lamp at the end of our driveway. Fortunately I had disengaged the electrical breaker that morning so no real damage was done. I was able to repair the conduit and now realize where this previously unknown cable snakes beneath our yard.
My experience prompted me to think about the many real and imagined things that are buried beneath my normally confident exterior. A few of them are like the bright painted lines in my yard, clear and visible to all who know me. They are those truths and experiences I have chosen to reveal and share with others—a favorite author, a fond memory, a significant loss. All of us have likely found the courage to reveal parts of ourselves to others, parts that could otherwise remain hidden from view.
But what about the unexpected cable that has not yet been discovered? Might those around us see hidden potential, dangerous behaviors, or unresolved issues in our lives that we are too blind to notice? Would we accept this candid feedback if it was offered in love to warn or protect us? Should this be a role that friends and family play in the emotional and physical health of others?
Over the years I have been the recipient of candid feedback from trusted friends and colleagues. Their insights helped me to see what I have buried beneath the surface—untapped potential, underused gifts, potentially bad habits. By accepted their wise counsel I now see and appreciate what would have been concealed from my view. It has been an opportunity to grow and learn.
I’m not suggesting we grab an aerosol paint can and target our friends and co-workers with the intention of digging up dirt and marking it for all to see. What I hope leaders will accept is their role in thoughtfully and lovingly providing constructive feedback to those they serve. By helping them discover what is buried beneath—perhaps some secret potential or abandoned dream—leaders can unleash new energy and ideas. Few of us are fully self-aware. I’m happy to invite those who know me well to find what I haven’t be able to see for myself—to identify and name what is buried beneath—sans the fluorescent orange paint!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Reflections Regarding Rules
Rules are everywhere. Few of us would wish to live in a world without them but we also know they can be both a blessing and a curse. Those early rules we learned as children—share, say you’re sorry or please and thank you, play fair—were offered to teach us important life lessons. In school we were taught to respect differences and take care of the environment. At work we need rules to conduct commerce, work with teams, and serve customers. On the highway rules help us navigate safely from one place to another. Without rules our lives and society in general would be quite chaotic.
On a recent vacation trip to Massachusetts we encountered two traffic rules that aren’t regularly part of our daily lives. One was the use of roundabouts instead of traffic lights. Designed to keep traffic moving, the rules of a roundabout require each car entering the circle to yield to those already there. If everyone acts with respect the system can keep traffic flowing very efficiently. The other rule involved yielding to pedestrians in crosswalks. I will admit to some measure of fear when I stepped off the curb in the face of oncoming traffic. Fortunately those drivers obeyed the rules and I arrived unscathed on the other side of the street.
Of course, we know rules are also frequently broken. Our laws don’t prevent criminal behavior. Generally accepted business practices haven’t eliminated fraud. Social norms are regularly abandoned to serve one’s own selfish purposes. Everyone, young and old, has broken the very rules we know make us safe or keep us healthy. Breaking rules generally have consequences and that helps keep some of us from straying too far. For others it only serves to spoil their fun.
As organizations prosper, their list of rules tends to grow as well, sometimes becoming an impediment to creativity and innovation. Think about a recent unpleasant customer service experience. Chances are some company policy or internal rule prevented the employee from actually addressing your concern and making you happy. When rules get in the way of common sense everyone suffers.
It’s tempting to create rules so our internal processes work better. But if these rules are never challenged, and perhaps eliminated, those very processes may impede us from serving others well. How many times have you complained about a government rule or regulation? If every bureaucrat was required to get rid of at least one existing rule each time they created a new one I wonder what might happen? Or suppose those same officials were expected to live and work under the rules they were creating? Would they still enact mindless legislation so they have work to do enforcing their new rules?
If you could change the rules in your workplace what would fail to make the cut? How many of those rules are preventing your organization from responding to the dynamic and difficult business environment we are facing? If you asked your customers what rules they despise would you be surprised by their answer?
It’s time to review the rules we take for granted or enforce without any thought of their impact. While some rules must always remain for a society to survive, many of us long for less regulation in our lives. Perhaps it’s time for a candid common sense conversation about the rules in your business. Are you willing to get it started or do you have a rule against that?
On a recent vacation trip to Massachusetts we encountered two traffic rules that aren’t regularly part of our daily lives. One was the use of roundabouts instead of traffic lights. Designed to keep traffic moving, the rules of a roundabout require each car entering the circle to yield to those already there. If everyone acts with respect the system can keep traffic flowing very efficiently. The other rule involved yielding to pedestrians in crosswalks. I will admit to some measure of fear when I stepped off the curb in the face of oncoming traffic. Fortunately those drivers obeyed the rules and I arrived unscathed on the other side of the street.
Of course, we know rules are also frequently broken. Our laws don’t prevent criminal behavior. Generally accepted business practices haven’t eliminated fraud. Social norms are regularly abandoned to serve one’s own selfish purposes. Everyone, young and old, has broken the very rules we know make us safe or keep us healthy. Breaking rules generally have consequences and that helps keep some of us from straying too far. For others it only serves to spoil their fun.
As organizations prosper, their list of rules tends to grow as well, sometimes becoming an impediment to creativity and innovation. Think about a recent unpleasant customer service experience. Chances are some company policy or internal rule prevented the employee from actually addressing your concern and making you happy. When rules get in the way of common sense everyone suffers.
It’s tempting to create rules so our internal processes work better. But if these rules are never challenged, and perhaps eliminated, those very processes may impede us from serving others well. How many times have you complained about a government rule or regulation? If every bureaucrat was required to get rid of at least one existing rule each time they created a new one I wonder what might happen? Or suppose those same officials were expected to live and work under the rules they were creating? Would they still enact mindless legislation so they have work to do enforcing their new rules?
If you could change the rules in your workplace what would fail to make the cut? How many of those rules are preventing your organization from responding to the dynamic and difficult business environment we are facing? If you asked your customers what rules they despise would you be surprised by their answer?
It’s time to review the rules we take for granted or enforce without any thought of their impact. While some rules must always remain for a society to survive, many of us long for less regulation in our lives. Perhaps it’s time for a candid common sense conversation about the rules in your business. Are you willing to get it started or do you have a rule against that?
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Different Views
A week ago I was traveling home with my wife from a fabulous nine day vacation to Connecticut and Massachusetts. I reveled in our memories of the beautiful river town of Mystic and the places we had visited on the narrow strip of land that is Cape Cod. I marveled at the history being preserved in Plymouth and Sturbridge and the time we spent exploring it. In spite of my fond memories I wondered what the folks who live in these places year round notice about their hometowns? Do they appreciate the meaning behind the historical events that took place there? Are they in awe of the natural beauty surrounding them?
It’s amazing how easy it is to view a place or an event with very different perspectives. Whether the setting is a work environment, a vacation spot, or a national political debate there is always a potential for divergent opinions. Healthy debates and contrasting outlooks keep things interesting and often create a more complete picture than if only one point of view is available. A boss who tries to solve a business problem without worker input may overlook the best or cheapest approach. Residents living in a tourist destination may complain about traffic while ignoring the financial benefits that visitors provide. A politician in Washington DC can become disengaged from the sentiments of their constituency back home.
One place where views seem to differ dramatically right now is in the political arena. I’m not just thinking about the constant debate between red and blue (conservatives versus liberals) although that constitutes much of our national policy discourse. It’s one thing to argue about how to govern, it’s quite a different thing to be out of touch with those you are elected to serve. Many national politicians (from both ideologies) have been demonstrating for some time that they no longer know (or care about) what the voters who put them in office want them to do. Polls show a vast majority of voters opposed health-care reform and are deeply concerned about jobs creation, reducing the deficit, and securing our borders. Our federal government appears deaf to these views as it enacts unpopular legislation, raises taxes, initiates huge spending bills, and sues states that act to defend their citizens.
If my wife and I disagree about an issue (yes that sometimes happens) we have a choice to make. We can each hold that our view is correct and defend it or we can listen to each other and find common ground. The former tactic, if employed often enough, will eventually destroy the marriage relationship. The latter ensures a healthy debate and potentially a better solution.
The danger from ignoring the insights of employees in a business setting or the will of citizens in a political context seems so much more volatile. If a CEO is too far out of touch eventually the labor force will revolt. Politicians who act as though they know better than the voters are simply adding gasoline to an already dangerously overheated fire. It’s fine to view things differently. We need a diversity of ideas and opinions to have a healthy debate. It’s unwise to create an atmosphere where people feel powerless, where their views are simply ignored on a regular basis.
I hope the people of Connecticut and Massachusetts view their hometowns with the same degree of appreciation we felt after our visit to their communities. I’m not so sure the folks in Washington DC even care what the rest of us think. It remains to be seen what those different views will mean for the country.
It’s amazing how easy it is to view a place or an event with very different perspectives. Whether the setting is a work environment, a vacation spot, or a national political debate there is always a potential for divergent opinions. Healthy debates and contrasting outlooks keep things interesting and often create a more complete picture than if only one point of view is available. A boss who tries to solve a business problem without worker input may overlook the best or cheapest approach. Residents living in a tourist destination may complain about traffic while ignoring the financial benefits that visitors provide. A politician in Washington DC can become disengaged from the sentiments of their constituency back home.
One place where views seem to differ dramatically right now is in the political arena. I’m not just thinking about the constant debate between red and blue (conservatives versus liberals) although that constitutes much of our national policy discourse. It’s one thing to argue about how to govern, it’s quite a different thing to be out of touch with those you are elected to serve. Many national politicians (from both ideologies) have been demonstrating for some time that they no longer know (or care about) what the voters who put them in office want them to do. Polls show a vast majority of voters opposed health-care reform and are deeply concerned about jobs creation, reducing the deficit, and securing our borders. Our federal government appears deaf to these views as it enacts unpopular legislation, raises taxes, initiates huge spending bills, and sues states that act to defend their citizens.
If my wife and I disagree about an issue (yes that sometimes happens) we have a choice to make. We can each hold that our view is correct and defend it or we can listen to each other and find common ground. The former tactic, if employed often enough, will eventually destroy the marriage relationship. The latter ensures a healthy debate and potentially a better solution.
The danger from ignoring the insights of employees in a business setting or the will of citizens in a political context seems so much more volatile. If a CEO is too far out of touch eventually the labor force will revolt. Politicians who act as though they know better than the voters are simply adding gasoline to an already dangerously overheated fire. It’s fine to view things differently. We need a diversity of ideas and opinions to have a healthy debate. It’s unwise to create an atmosphere where people feel powerless, where their views are simply ignored on a regular basis.
I hope the people of Connecticut and Massachusetts view their hometowns with the same degree of appreciation we felt after our visit to their communities. I’m not so sure the folks in Washington DC even care what the rest of us think. It remains to be seen what those different views will mean for the country.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Breaking Free
If you read my last blog posting you know that for a nine day period in late July I experimented with being completely off the social media grid. For me that meant not checking my LinkedIn, Facebook, or Twitter accounts (even though my iPhone is equipped with apps to handle this). I must confess that I did read email messages a couple of times each day to handle a few client issues that I knew would require some attention while I was out of the office. Fortunately I only needed to actually respond to five messages while on my vacation.
So what did this grand experiment teach me? Did I suffer horrible withdrawal symptoms and crave interaction with my various networks? Will it alter my social media habits now that I have returned to the office? Can you learn anything from my experience?
I began my vacation committed to making this plan work. Perhaps that is why I discovered how easy it can be to break free of the technology grip that so entangles many of our lives. My routine during a typical work day includes checking social media sites each morning. It’s a discipline I take seriously so I try not to spend more than 15-20 minutes per day with the three primary networks I regularly use. Altering that type of schedule was easier simply because it didn’t take much to reallocate the time to other things. On vacation I enjoyed reading the paper, catching some early morning sports or news updates, and having breakfast with my wife.
Yesterday I began my first work day back in the office by staying away from the social media sites until later in the afternoon. That gave me a chance to catch up on other projects and I found it less stressful than facing a deluge of Twitter and Facebook updates. When I finally opened the applications I focused on updating my Friend requests and Followers rather than reading what I had missed or posting something immediately.
My personal social media strategies are probably far different than many of my readers. For example, I don’t use Facebook for lots of personal postings and I don’t have a goal of acquiring 5,000 Tweeps. Instead I’m trying to maintain and build meaningful relationships, share helpful articles, and learn from others. This makes it easier to resist the addictive nature that social media sites seem to encourage.
Breaking free these past days may permanently change how I use social media in the future. I’m considering maintaining a lower profile with less urgency for daily postings or regularly reading updates. My vacation really was a breath of fresh air that reminded me how valuable work-life balance can be. Based on initial observations I’m not sure I was missed too badly by my social media networks. Perhaps that is the real lesson to be learned.
So what did this grand experiment teach me? Did I suffer horrible withdrawal symptoms and crave interaction with my various networks? Will it alter my social media habits now that I have returned to the office? Can you learn anything from my experience?
I began my vacation committed to making this plan work. Perhaps that is why I discovered how easy it can be to break free of the technology grip that so entangles many of our lives. My routine during a typical work day includes checking social media sites each morning. It’s a discipline I take seriously so I try not to spend more than 15-20 minutes per day with the three primary networks I regularly use. Altering that type of schedule was easier simply because it didn’t take much to reallocate the time to other things. On vacation I enjoyed reading the paper, catching some early morning sports or news updates, and having breakfast with my wife.
Yesterday I began my first work day back in the office by staying away from the social media sites until later in the afternoon. That gave me a chance to catch up on other projects and I found it less stressful than facing a deluge of Twitter and Facebook updates. When I finally opened the applications I focused on updating my Friend requests and Followers rather than reading what I had missed or posting something immediately.
My personal social media strategies are probably far different than many of my readers. For example, I don’t use Facebook for lots of personal postings and I don’t have a goal of acquiring 5,000 Tweeps. Instead I’m trying to maintain and build meaningful relationships, share helpful articles, and learn from others. This makes it easier to resist the addictive nature that social media sites seem to encourage.
Breaking free these past days may permanently change how I use social media in the future. I’m considering maintaining a lower profile with less urgency for daily postings or regularly reading updates. My vacation really was a breath of fresh air that reminded me how valuable work-life balance can be. Based on initial observations I’m not sure I was missed too badly by my social media networks. Perhaps that is the real lesson to be learned.
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