This past week included some experiences that seemed designed to test my effectiveness as a leader. On more than one occasion my approach to situations was questioned by others and I found myself suppressing a need to defend my actions and protect my turf. My leadership style in the workplace is quite deliberate and I am known as someone who likes to have a plan, who communicates in a straightforward manner, and who tends to be more reserved. Those behaviors generally make me an effective leader but proved less helpful as I reflect on the circumstances I mentioned earlier.
It’s easy for leaders to stick with what we know, to admit some practice, belief, or attitude works for us. While that may be true, there is value in unlearning those same old ways of doing things; especially if the evidence is clear that these behaviors are no longer leading to the desired outcomes. My reluctance to show emotion is too often viewed as insensitive by others and so I must unlearn this practice if I am to be effective with persons who need greater empathy.
Since I love to learn, the idea of exploring new approaches in my dealings with others has already motivated me to learn from this week’s shortcomings. I am reading more about my leadership style and the styles of others in the hopes of adapting my behavior the next time a similar situation appears. While I admit that intellectually these new approaches make sense, it will still be very difficult to switch from my preferred way of doing things, or in some cases, terminating the behavior entirely. Every leader can probably identify with this dilemma.
The process of unlearning shouldn’t be a one-sided affair. There are lessons other leaders I work with can also learn from my deliberative approach. For example, many leaders could benefit from a more structured approach to communication. Some of us require more clarity, a main point of reference, and a pace that allows us to follow along and understand where you are going. Another lesson might be doing your homework and not coming to meetings unprepared. My guess is that these approaches will require some unlearning for those who don’t share these leadership qualities that come more naturally to me.
Leadership effectiveness is not confined to only one approach or style. I have met many different leaders over the years in my work and each offers strengths that contribute to the issues and challenges of their organizations. Yet, every approach has its own inherent weaknesses as well. A willingness to unlearn the old practices, beliefs, and attitudes of your leadership style may also be necessary if you are to be viewed as effective by the other styles you encounter. Learning how to unlearn—it just might be the toughest leadership lesson yet.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Wounded in the Workplace
One doesn’t need a great deal of insight or experience to know that suffering is among us. At an early age we learn that much of the agony we will experience as a human being will come at the hands of those we love and who, in turn, love us. News stories of powerful people wounding their families through illicit affairs or outrageous behavior are all too common. Even caregivers and institutions trusted to provide custody and protection for the most vulnerable among us are sometimes guilty of wounding their patients or clients, both emotionally and physically.
Workplaces are not immune to wounding others as anyone who has been the recipient of a boss’s public tirade or a team’s lack of inclusion will attest. Leaders have a special obligation to provide safe environments where employees can flourish. Sometimes this is as simple as ensuring that non-discriminatory policies and practices are congruent. Other times the effort is more challenging as competing behavioral styles, personalities, and diverse opinions clash in the boardroom and on the production floor.
It has been nearly 40 years since I left home and the passing of time has not always healed every wound. Like you, it is easy to carry resentment over past decisions or to be angry about some perceived injustice. Sometimes our pain becomes fear or anxiety that paralyzes us from moving beyond the wounding to seek reconciliation and forgiveness. A few of us may be known to complain about the unfair circumstances that life has brought our way.
Leaders can model a healing approach to the wounds that frequent our enterprises. We can acknowledge our own pain, admit our mistakes, forgive others for behaving badly, and move beyond our need for acceptance. Leaders can become empathetic listeners, offer nurturing feedback, and regularly praise the work of others. A modern-day workplace doesn’t need to become a therapist’s office but it should be a sanctuary offering healing and hope for the wounded who work, live, and play there every day.
Workplaces are not immune to wounding others as anyone who has been the recipient of a boss’s public tirade or a team’s lack of inclusion will attest. Leaders have a special obligation to provide safe environments where employees can flourish. Sometimes this is as simple as ensuring that non-discriminatory policies and practices are congruent. Other times the effort is more challenging as competing behavioral styles, personalities, and diverse opinions clash in the boardroom and on the production floor.
It has been nearly 40 years since I left home and the passing of time has not always healed every wound. Like you, it is easy to carry resentment over past decisions or to be angry about some perceived injustice. Sometimes our pain becomes fear or anxiety that paralyzes us from moving beyond the wounding to seek reconciliation and forgiveness. A few of us may be known to complain about the unfair circumstances that life has brought our way.
Leaders can model a healing approach to the wounds that frequent our enterprises. We can acknowledge our own pain, admit our mistakes, forgive others for behaving badly, and move beyond our need for acceptance. Leaders can become empathetic listeners, offer nurturing feedback, and regularly praise the work of others. A modern-day workplace doesn’t need to become a therapist’s office but it should be a sanctuary offering healing and hope for the wounded who work, live, and play there every day.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Leadership as Metaphor
As a literary device, metaphor is a concept of understanding one thing in terms of another. Take ideas as an example. We might describe them metaphorically as “food for thought”. In the context of the workplace we might “stew on those ideas” or “regurgitate them to others.” Some might appear “half-baked to us” while others require “time to digest.” Metaphors help us to make sense of the abstract and are far more prevalent in our daily lives than we might care to admit.
The metaphors for leadership abound. We are explorers, pioneers, teammates, elders, innovators, commanders, troubleshooters, gurus, micro-managers, coaches, shepherds, servants, teachers, and much more. Many of the most popular leadership metaphors come from the worlds of war and sports. These domains offer rich and powerful imagery that appeal to our human need for power and control. We can “shoot down an opponent’s argument”, “defend our turf”, “target our competition”, “play to win”, and “break the rules.” This emphasis on managing through fear and control, combined with a need to win, has elevated this perspective about leadership to a position of prominence.
An alternative to these more aggressive leadership metaphors might be the shepherd or gardner. Here the focus is on “nurturing growth”, “developing people”, and “guiding and caring for others.” The difference in approach and perspective between these two descriptions of leadership is palpable. One has to wonder which metaphor is more appealing to the followers who serve under each domain?
Metaphors carry weight and tend to infiltrate our conversation in ways we don’t even realize. If a leader chooses the metaphors of war or sports, those words carry implicit and explicit meaning. Sometimes these messages suggest unethical behaviors or may not translate well across cultural norms. The metaphors of shepherding and gardening may be perceived as weakness rather than understood as creating an environment where grace and love can flourish. Yes, these attributes belong in today’s stressful workplace!
What leaders say and do is regularly expressed in the form of metaphors. Our attitudes, goals, and actions often reveal our own deeper understandings of leadership. When we choose a metaphor, consciously or unconsciously we are communicating what we believe about ourselves and our roles. Perhaps it is time to revisit the leadership metaphors that permeate our conversations. Lao Tzu’s words ring true from centuries ago, “The best leaders value their words, and use them sparingly. When they have accomplished their task, the people say, ‘Amazing!’ We did it, all by ourselves!’”
The metaphors for leadership abound. We are explorers, pioneers, teammates, elders, innovators, commanders, troubleshooters, gurus, micro-managers, coaches, shepherds, servants, teachers, and much more. Many of the most popular leadership metaphors come from the worlds of war and sports. These domains offer rich and powerful imagery that appeal to our human need for power and control. We can “shoot down an opponent’s argument”, “defend our turf”, “target our competition”, “play to win”, and “break the rules.” This emphasis on managing through fear and control, combined with a need to win, has elevated this perspective about leadership to a position of prominence.
An alternative to these more aggressive leadership metaphors might be the shepherd or gardner. Here the focus is on “nurturing growth”, “developing people”, and “guiding and caring for others.” The difference in approach and perspective between these two descriptions of leadership is palpable. One has to wonder which metaphor is more appealing to the followers who serve under each domain?
Metaphors carry weight and tend to infiltrate our conversation in ways we don’t even realize. If a leader chooses the metaphors of war or sports, those words carry implicit and explicit meaning. Sometimes these messages suggest unethical behaviors or may not translate well across cultural norms. The metaphors of shepherding and gardening may be perceived as weakness rather than understood as creating an environment where grace and love can flourish. Yes, these attributes belong in today’s stressful workplace!
What leaders say and do is regularly expressed in the form of metaphors. Our attitudes, goals, and actions often reveal our own deeper understandings of leadership. When we choose a metaphor, consciously or unconsciously we are communicating what we believe about ourselves and our roles. Perhaps it is time to revisit the leadership metaphors that permeate our conversations. Lao Tzu’s words ring true from centuries ago, “The best leaders value their words, and use them sparingly. When they have accomplished their task, the people say, ‘Amazing!’ We did it, all by ourselves!’”
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Wearing the “C”
My favorite professional ice hockey team, the Philadelphia Flyers, were unceremoniously bounced from the second round of the National Hockey League’s Eastern Division playoffs on Friday night by the team they came from behind to beat in last year’s division finals, the Boston Bruins. We were swept in four games and outscored 20 to 7 in the series. As a preseason pick to play for the Stanley Cup the outcome was a major disappointment. The next few weeks will feature plenty of analysis about what went wrong; those with more hockey expertise than I are already weighing in. My attention is focused on the guy wearing a “C” on his jersey.
A sports team captain is frequently an honorary designation, but can have responsibility for strategy and teamwork during the game. It is a position generally equated with respect and leadership, as recognized by one’s peers. In the NHL, a captain is the only player allowed to speak with referees about rule interpretations, is considered a dressing room leader, may represent the player’s concerns to management, and is the primary team representative to the public. Frequently the captain is expected to motivate his teammates during a game.
Which brings me to Flyers’ captain, Mike Richards. He has been the team captain since the start of the 2008-09 season and is known for his physical style of play on the ice. While Richards has been a star since his NHL debut in 2005, his stint as captain has been less successful. Last season Richards and the Philadelphia media feuded for most of the year before the team embarked on its remarkable run to the Stanley Cup finals, a performance that drew comparisons to former team captain Bobby Clarke.
Serving in a leadership role, even in sports, is a challenging and often thankless job. A leader is constantly in the spotlight and often under scrutiny if performance wanes. They are expected to model behavior that sets a positive example for employees and teammates. Leadership requires courage to overcome adversity and admit failure. Leaders must know what motivates others and when to extend grace or empathy.
As Flyers captain, Richards has appeared to evade many of these leadership attributes. In the weeks preceding the playoffs his team’s performance was alarmingly inconsistent yet he showed no leadership in addressing the situation. A rally during the playoff’s first round could have sparked better play against Boston but in one week’s time the season was over.
Wearing the “C” can feel like a burden, a fact that Richards sometimes implies during his post-game interviews. A team or company committed to long-term success must have leadership willing to play a decisive role. That doesn’t always happen on the ice or in a company meeting. Effective leaders quietly change hearts and minds through their influential relationships. They are willing to be a public voice even when they don’t relish the spotlight. This off-season Richards and the Flyers may need to revisit his role as captain. What might your team have to say about your leadership? Are you deserving of that “C” you’re wearing?
A sports team captain is frequently an honorary designation, but can have responsibility for strategy and teamwork during the game. It is a position generally equated with respect and leadership, as recognized by one’s peers. In the NHL, a captain is the only player allowed to speak with referees about rule interpretations, is considered a dressing room leader, may represent the player’s concerns to management, and is the primary team representative to the public. Frequently the captain is expected to motivate his teammates during a game.
Which brings me to Flyers’ captain, Mike Richards. He has been the team captain since the start of the 2008-09 season and is known for his physical style of play on the ice. While Richards has been a star since his NHL debut in 2005, his stint as captain has been less successful. Last season Richards and the Philadelphia media feuded for most of the year before the team embarked on its remarkable run to the Stanley Cup finals, a performance that drew comparisons to former team captain Bobby Clarke.
Serving in a leadership role, even in sports, is a challenging and often thankless job. A leader is constantly in the spotlight and often under scrutiny if performance wanes. They are expected to model behavior that sets a positive example for employees and teammates. Leadership requires courage to overcome adversity and admit failure. Leaders must know what motivates others and when to extend grace or empathy.
As Flyers captain, Richards has appeared to evade many of these leadership attributes. In the weeks preceding the playoffs his team’s performance was alarmingly inconsistent yet he showed no leadership in addressing the situation. A rally during the playoff’s first round could have sparked better play against Boston but in one week’s time the season was over.
Wearing the “C” can feel like a burden, a fact that Richards sometimes implies during his post-game interviews. A team or company committed to long-term success must have leadership willing to play a decisive role. That doesn’t always happen on the ice or in a company meeting. Effective leaders quietly change hearts and minds through their influential relationships. They are willing to be a public voice even when they don’t relish the spotlight. This off-season Richards and the Flyers may need to revisit his role as captain. What might your team have to say about your leadership? Are you deserving of that “C” you’re wearing?
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Beyond Regret
Since 2007 a website blog titled Secret Regrets™ (found at www.secretregrets.com) has been offering a digital space for persons to post the biggest regret of their life; a place to share the one thing they would change if they had a second chance. The site has generated plenty of discussion since then and some of the posts and subsequent comments were published in 2010 as a book titled “Secret Regrets - What if you had a Second Chance?” written by Kevin Hansen, who also launched the original blog.
As you might expect, the site contains many confessions from persons who simply made poor choices or hurt a loved one. The blog’s disclaimer makes it clear they are not offering professional advice to anyone who shares their story, yet many of the site’s visitors do offer comments about the daily secret regret (the site urges posting only supportive and helpful ones). Given the volume of postings and responses it is obvious many of us have regrets about our lives and long for emotional and spiritual healing.
The workplace and marketplace provide many occasions to make decisions or engage in behaviors and conversations that leaders may regret. Since no one is perfect the scale is tipped toward acting badly at some point each day. While I find the idea of anonymously sharing one’s regret with complete strangers somewhat intriguing (and perhaps even cathartic), what happens after this virtual confession? How does anyone, including leaders, move beyond the regret to create a new reality?
In recent weeks I have encountered professional and personal experiences where regret has played a significant role. The conversations have often focused around the need to move on but the process isn’t always easy. Guilt and shame can sap one’s energy and divert one’s thinking from what could be to what could have been. There is little to be gained by living in the past or allowing those memories to distort one’s view of the future. Forgiveness certainly plays a role in this recovery process but so does a willingness to acknowledge some positives and lessons learned from the very situations that are causing the feelings of regret.
Leaders who model healthy perspectives about past regrets will encourage their colleagues and direct reports to do the same. Keep your situation in perspective by sharing your stories, seeking forgiveness or making amends when necessary, and learning how to be an empathic listener to the regrets others may need to express. The second chances we all desire shouldn’t be relegated to a blog website or confined to a therapist’s couch. Imagine a workplace where past mistakes can be redeemed, where stories of regret can become teaching tools, and where judgment is replaced with love and acceptance? Leaders who believe in the power of second chances will help their employees to accept what cannot be changed and learn to love life as it happens, not as you would wish it to be.
As you might expect, the site contains many confessions from persons who simply made poor choices or hurt a loved one. The blog’s disclaimer makes it clear they are not offering professional advice to anyone who shares their story, yet many of the site’s visitors do offer comments about the daily secret regret (the site urges posting only supportive and helpful ones). Given the volume of postings and responses it is obvious many of us have regrets about our lives and long for emotional and spiritual healing.
The workplace and marketplace provide many occasions to make decisions or engage in behaviors and conversations that leaders may regret. Since no one is perfect the scale is tipped toward acting badly at some point each day. While I find the idea of anonymously sharing one’s regret with complete strangers somewhat intriguing (and perhaps even cathartic), what happens after this virtual confession? How does anyone, including leaders, move beyond the regret to create a new reality?
In recent weeks I have encountered professional and personal experiences where regret has played a significant role. The conversations have often focused around the need to move on but the process isn’t always easy. Guilt and shame can sap one’s energy and divert one’s thinking from what could be to what could have been. There is little to be gained by living in the past or allowing those memories to distort one’s view of the future. Forgiveness certainly plays a role in this recovery process but so does a willingness to acknowledge some positives and lessons learned from the very situations that are causing the feelings of regret.
Leaders who model healthy perspectives about past regrets will encourage their colleagues and direct reports to do the same. Keep your situation in perspective by sharing your stories, seeking forgiveness or making amends when necessary, and learning how to be an empathic listener to the regrets others may need to express. The second chances we all desire shouldn’t be relegated to a blog website or confined to a therapist’s couch. Imagine a workplace where past mistakes can be redeemed, where stories of regret can become teaching tools, and where judgment is replaced with love and acceptance? Leaders who believe in the power of second chances will help their employees to accept what cannot be changed and learn to love life as it happens, not as you would wish it to be.
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