Shades of Gray

Leaders often carry a reputation (perhaps well deserved) for seeing problems and their solutions as mostly about the difference between black and white. Whether a political ideology, a business theory, or a faith question, it is easy for leaders to choose a perspective on either end of the spectrum and proceed to defend it. While this practice may be helpful under certain circumstances it rarely serves a leader well to only live with these two options.

Growing older has already taught me valuable lessons about how much I know and have yet to learn. My youthful exuberance and confidence has mellowed into a more permanent shade of gray. While I’m not without some core convictions, I find that many of life’s most persistent questions don’t have clear and decisive answers. My need for a black and white world will never be realized.

Where do our perspectives about life’s shades of gray emerge? For me, many of them are rooted in times of doubt and anxiety; times when fear, however real or imagined, rears its ugly head. I’m grateful that my primitive brain triggers its fight or flight protective measures because without them I would probably be dead. Yet that same internal mechanism has also fed my need for clarity instead of teaching me how to comfortably live with doubt.

To embrace doubt, and its accompanying shades of gray, leaders may need to unlearn much of what we have come to believe as truth. Too often those assumptions have been built on what we know and feel comfortable with. Without a willingness to encounter other views and opinions—other truths—our decisions and frame of reference will be limited to what has become black and white in our minds and experiences. Exposure to shades of gray doesn’t need to dismiss these current realities, only serve to inform them with new data and emotion.

There will always be questions and purposes that remain hidden. No one was present at the beginning of the world yet my confidence in a God that could create such a place remains unshaken. Instead, what I have been reminded of again this week is how valuable the gray areas of life can be in my role as a leader. When I am willing to face my fears, and live with the anxieties that accompany them, then I am empowered to do some of my best work. The doubts create cracks in my experience so the light of truth can shine through.

Where will you find the courage to doubt your fears? How will you boldly progress from black and white to shades of gray on the issues that matter most to you? When might you be willing to unlearn what you thought you knew so you can embrace what you really don’t? Instead of aspiring to achieve a sure thing perhaps leaders would be better served seeking only to be sure enough. Might those very shades of gray that emerge reflect the truth and wisdom we long to possess.

A Father’s Love

Since giving birth to this blog in 2007 my purpose has always been to write about the challenges and rewards of leadership. Many of my postings have been inspired by personal or professional experience. Some have been written in response to current and world events. Others draw their life from the writings and research of subject matter experts.

On more than one occasion I have tried to express in a meaningful way how I feel about my Dad and also reflected on what fatherhood has meant to me. Since today marks our nation’s recognition of the contribution fathers make (Father’s Day 2012), I couldn’t resist another opportunity to wonder about this sacred duty.

My Dad has taught me many invaluable life lessons. Some were obvious to me as I was growing up, like the importance of working hard and the value of telling the truth. Others have become more apparent with age, like how to endure the pain of loss and disappointment or the challenge of forgiveness.

In my own role as father I am acutely aware of the need to be more generous with my time, to fight the urge to fix things, and to wait patiently when I would rather be taking action. Every parent probably expects too much from their children and fails to appreciate what is already there just waiting to be noticed.

A father’s love is less about doing something for your children and more about being someone they can emulate and learn from. A listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a place to return to - these are the gifts every parent has to offer regardless of age or station in life.

Some of us grew up in homes where our father was always present and served as a role model. Others may not know who their father is or lived without him because of death or divorce. Yet each of us has a heavenly Father whose unconditional love for all His children remains steadfast. Perhaps it is time to embrace that love so we can pass on a father’s love to our own family.

Shifting Your Perspective

In my consulting, training, and coaching work with organizations and leaders at various levels for the past ten years one thing has become quite clear. There are many competent, bright, and dedicated managers who struggle to make the leap from a familiar role in sales or production to leading a division or company. The reasons are many and would provide plenty of grist for future blog posts. Experts smarter than myself have written extensively on this topic and leadership remains a popular, but often misunderstood subject.

One of the common sense observations I made early on in my work with managers who aspired to lead was how hard it is for persons to alter their view of the world. A successful salesperson often struggles or fails when promoted to a management role. Production supervisors who regularly beat productivity expectations don’t know how to actually set new ones (or the right ones) when they are placed in charge of the entire department. The master craftsman who knows how to build furniture stumbles badly when he or she decides to transform a hobby into a business.

Shifting your perspective begins with how you define managing and leading. Management is a one-to-one relationship and requires an ability to specialize, analyze, and tactically execute on the daily activities of the organization. Leadership is a one-to-many relationship that incorporates a broader vision and agenda.

Not-for-profit organizations are not exempt from this challenge. Perhaps that is because so many businesspersons populate their boardrooms. These persons are adept at solving problems and assessing risk. They are often less gifted at defining which problem to address or at determining what questions to ask about the current and future realities facing the organization.

The skills that serve a technician well are mostly impotent when that same crafts-person must now navigate the uncertainties of a corporate environment. The executive director who knows how to deliver a program well may be stymied when asked to document whether the agency’s clients are actually better off because of the services they are receiving.

Gaining skills to more adeptly shift your perspective is both a function of training, talent, and coaching. The managers I work with sometimes simply lack the innate ability to think strategically. It may be difficult to learn how to do this, as strategic thinking is not everyone’s talent. However, that same leader can probably hone their skills at crafting a vision, aligning people to it, and shepherding others to execute it.

For those leaders struggling in their roles perhaps a coach could assist as you navigate this new territory. Many organizations would benefit from better recruitment, orientation, and leadership development programs. Perhaps the best advice is simply to recognize that existing skills won’t be enough to ensure success when you are promoted. While your past, and its accomplishments, are important, without a shift in perspective from rearview mirror to windshield the road ahead may be a dead end.

Leaving the Beaten Path

It’s the time of year when thousands of young people are celebrating their graduation from high school or college. Commencement addresses will be filled with platitudes about new beginnings, challenges ahead, and memories from the past years of education. Most of these speeches will be forgotten by the time the ceremony is over. In many cases this is likely a good thing.

Since I’m pretty sure I will never be invited to speak at a graduation ceremony I thought it would be fun to consider what advice I might offer to this year’s Class of 2012. After careful consideration here is the one piece of wisdom that today’s graduates should try hard not to forget. It is from a quote by Alexander Graham Bell, inventor, scientist, engineer, professor, and teacher of the deaf.

“Don’t keep forever on the public road. Leave the beaten path occasionally and dive into the woods. You will be certain to find something that you have never seen before. One discovery will lead to another, and before you know it you will have something worth thinking about to occupy your mind. All really big discoveries are the results of thoughts.”

Many of today’s graduates have already decided to keep on the public road. They are mesmerized by the lure of wealth, power, and fame even in the face of evidence that proves these aspirations to be quite empty. The cultural pressure to succeed and fit in are powerfully addictive. Many of us are also taught to believe that competition and winning matter more than living with a moral code of ethics.

That is why Graham Bell’s advice to “leave the beaten path” is so compelling. It suggests that when we depart from the prescribed future being sought by the masses we will make some really big discoveries about ourselves and others. The beaten path ventures into the woods where the only distractions aside from the wind, birds, and animals, will be our thoughts. When we succumb to our mind’s eye we may find new ways of addressing the world’s most pressing problems, uncover hidden passions and interests we have buried from childhood, and discover the courage to pursue our real dreams.

I have benefited from this approach in my own life but not without taking risks. Moving my family to southeastern Pennsylvania in the summer of 1986 was one of my moments to “leave the beaten path” and it has certainly rewarded me with new opportunities, friendships, and much more. I believe my family also reaped some rewards from this life changing moment.

To all this year’s graduates, congratulations on your accomplishments! Just don’t forget that the public road may not deliver on all it’s golden promises. Instead I encourage you to “leave the beaten path and dive into the woods.” Who knows what big discoveries you will make when you have time to really think.