Saturday, February 23, 2008

Learning to Listen

I wonder how many books have been written on the topic of listening. A Google search reveals about 198 million web page references to the word and that did not include millions more references to various aspects of listening. I guess my entry will add one more place where people can read about this verb.

Leaders who wish to inspire those who follow them know the value of practicing effective listening skills. It isn’t easy, as you already know. I have no plans to offer any new secrets that might improve your listening prowess. Instead I wish to reflect on the importance of listening in the life of any leader.

Perhaps I should preface my thoughts by emphasizing that I believe leaders and followers must partner together to contribute toward organizational success. Leaders must create a culture where every person feels valued and appreciated, where leadership roles are shared, and where trusting relationships are nurtured. That is why listening skills matter.

If we are to achieve excellence in our products and services it will require a high level of commitment from every person in the organization. Learning will be the key ingredient in this pursuit of excellence and that requires a willingness to listen. Feedback from employees, customers, and vendor partners will be needed if improvements are to be achieved. What would happen if you spent at least 25 percent of your time listening to the ideas, suggestions, and needs of those you serve? We know that many innovations begin with careful observation of human behavior and the listening that accompanied this activity.

I have already suggested that building strong relationships is a key to effective leadership and successful enterprises. This isn’t possible if we are not listening to each other, hearing both the spoken and unspoken requests, feeling the unmet needs of those we are called to serve. Empathetic listening is a transformative tool that many leaders don’t practice or carry in their management toolbox. Considering the feelings and perspectives of others rather than asserting your thoughts on them requires disciplined listening.

Meeting the needs of others can’t happen by simply “not talking”. In fact, the absence of your voice in a given situation won’t guarantee that effective listening will take place. Most of us struggle to concentrate for more than a few seconds at a time. We are so inundated with interruptions that our attention spans have all but disappeared. Imagine if you became so focused on the other person’s words that you forgot what you had planned to say? Would the other person be upset or surprised that you actually heard them, perhaps for the first time?

There is also plenty of room for better listening practices in our company meetings. Many times we simply fill the air with noise because we have become so uncomfortable with the silence. Our fear of listening, even to the stillness of a quiet room, is a sad commentary on the problems many teams and organizations face. We can’t build trust when no one is listening to each other.

Leaders model behaviors that influence how employees treat each other and the customer. If listening is an important discipline shouldn’t we do it well and pass it on? Perhaps the reason we neglect this leadership skill is because we need control and listening defers our own needs in favor of the other person. That just might be the best reason to be a good listener.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Receiving Feedback

During my many activities this week I found myself giving and receiving feedback in a variety of ways. I offered verbal and written positive constructive feedback to a local retailer for their efforts to help me select and install a new HD plasma television. During training class this past week, I devoted an entire lesson to the topic, including how to offer feedback in a way that really benefits the person receiving it. And I also witnessed first hand a conversation where feedback was given and received. It is the latter incident that will be the focus of this week’s entry.

Friday nights in our house have been reserved for dining out since very early in our marriage. My wife and I often eat at the same local establishment, a favorite stop for many reasons, including the homemade products on their menu. Cole slaw is one of the items that frequently grace our table as a side dish. Last night was no exception.

When our waitress delivered the meal my wife commented that the slaw looked different. After we both tasted it the consensus opinion we offered each other was that perhaps their recipe had changed. While the side dish was still appetizing it lacked the look, texture, and unique taste we had come to expect. As the meal progressed my wife insisted that something must have changed and she proposed asking the owner about it. While this was a perfect opportunity to offer constructive feedback, I must admit the thought of making this request during a busy dinner hour seemed unnecessary. But our waitress was asked to relay our request and a short time later the proprietor appeared from the kitchen.

The feedback was simple and direct, “What has happened to your Cole slaw recipe”? The owner’s response was forthcoming and helpful. “It’s the cabbage”, she replied. “This time of year the produce has been picked weeks ago and lacks the quality and freshness needed to create our usual taste and texture.” She quickly apologized and I found myself doing the same for interrupting a busy shift in the kitchen. Her response reminded me why leaders need constructive feedback – both positive and negative.

She shared a quick story of another customer who quietly complained that her meal wasn’t very good as she paid her bill. The customer’s spouse stood by wishing the complaint had never been registered. The restaurant owner’s response was telling, “I wish you had told me about this earlier so I could have fixed the problem.” Untimely feedback usually leaves both parties feeling like they didn’t get what they needed.

What a powerful testimony to the value we leaders should place on receiving both positive and negative constructive feedback. Many of us cringe at the thought of negative feedback because we are more accustomed to being criticized for our poor performance or we find out about the shortcoming long after the event has passed. As these two stories illustrate, when feedback is timely and delivered in a way that shows the person you care about them, it is likely to be appreciated and result in behavioral changes. If our feedback features vague accusations or is delivered in an accusatory tone the impact will be quite different.

Leaders can create a culture where feedback is encouraged by modeling good practices and graciously receiving the comments of employees, customers, and vendors. While it may be difficult to hear about our shortcomings or failure to keep promises, by embracing feedback we gain new opportunities for personal growth, improve our organization’s products and services, and deepen the trust that is necessary for workplaces and marketplaces to thrive. So the next time you are faced with some “slaw" that doesn’t seem right, ask the cook about it. If you’re the cook, give an honest answer and fix the problem if necessary. Leaders need both of these ingredients to get the recipe right.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Lent and Leadership

This past Wednesday (February 6) marked the beginning of Lent, the annual forty-day period leading to Easter Sunday. It is often best known as a time of reflection, prayer, and fasting. In some faith communities persons are encouraged to “give something up” for Lent – perhaps a meal each day, a favorite activity like watching television or shopping. If this special time of the year is properly focused and meaningfully celebrated then real personal and spiritual growth can occur. Unfortunately self-denial can also become a superficial ritual that adds little meaning to one’s life, especially if done for the wrong reasons.

What does Lent have to do with leadership you might ask? Perhaps nothing, but I was reflecting on the well-known Biblical account of Jesus being tempted by Satan in the wilderness (found in Matthew 4) and noticed a familiar pattern in the tests recorded there that apply to the roles we play as leaders.

The first temptation invited Jesus to perform a miracle (turning stones to bread). On the surface this test seems quite innocent. Jesus is hungry and using his supernatural powers would have satisfied an immediate need. Yet behind this challenge lurks a more sinister test. Will Jesus use his power to serve his own need for recognition? Leaders know this enticement still exists. Being in a position of authority invites our ego to crave attention and seek acknowledgement for the work we are doing. Lent reminds us that leadership is about serving others and setting aside our need to be first.

Next Satan suggests that Jesus should leap from a pinnacle on the temple so angels can rescue him. The request seems focused on helping Jesus solidify his place as a maverick with special powers on his side. Could it be that the real invitation was for Jesus to go his own way and reject obedience to his calling? How many times in your leadership role are you tempted to choose your own direction rather than obediently following the call of God in your life? Surrender is a difficult choice to make and many of us struggle with remaining faithful to our values and faith convictions. Lent is a good time to reflect on one’s calling in life and whether we are being faithful to it.

In the final test, Satan offered Jesus the whole world if he would only worship him, a request that brought with it power and authority. But Jesus saw the danger in succumbing to evil. He spoke defiantly and emphatically against this request for allegiance. Leaders have many opportunities to speak against evil; shady business practices, unethical treatment of employees, disregard for the environment, and much more. Do we stand tall in the face of these forms of evil, even when it costs us market share or brings ridicule from colleagues or the press? Lent invites us to tell the truth about sin, in our personal lives, in the corporate world, or within society.

During the remaining season of Lent we should take these insights to heart. Recognize that leaders are tested every day. Acknowledge your desire for recognition, a longing to go your own way, and your silence in the face of malevolence. God has enough grace to sustain us when we fail. Perhaps the first act of Lent should be to admit that is what we have done.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Who's Monitoring You?

This past week I experienced my first encounter with a Holter Monitor, an electronic device designed to capture detailed information about the function of one’s heart. For two separate 24-hour periods my chest was wired to this gizmo, recording everything that was happening in my cardiovascular system as I went about my work and play. Besides the inconvenience of sleeping on my back and a couple of trips to and from the hospital the entire experience was mundane.

The monitor was prescribed because I reported symptoms that felt like my heart was racing on several occasions in the past month. Naturally, I’m hoping the results won’t identify any significant problems but, if there is something wrong, the diagnostics will tell my cardiologist what course of treatment to recommend.

My experiences this week prompted me to think about how leadership effectiveness is being monitored. Wouldn’t it be great if we could attach a special “Effectiveness Device” to ourselves and every other leader in the organization, a diagnostic tool that could record how well we are doing in our leadership roles? Some might argue that we have these instruments already in the form of 360-degree feedback and various other assessments. My experience tells me there are limits with such measurements including a lack of honesty when the feedback is offered or an unwillingness to acknowledge deficiencies by the leaders themselves.

Who should be responsible to monitor leadership? In the political, entertainment, and sports arenas of today it seems like leadership has little to do with accountability so maybe scrutinizing behavior won’t help very much. After all, if my Holter Monitor reveals a problem and I choose to ignore it, the consequences only affect me, right? Try making that argument with my family and you will likely find little support. So why is public leadership permitted to stray from the path of responsibility with few, if any, ill effects? Are we so cynical about leadership, so hungry for power, so envious of their positions of authority, that we willingly abandon any attempts to examine their behavior?

Effective leadership should be something we aspire to, with clear measurements that show us when we have abandoned a principle, broken a promise, failed to live up to our core values, or strayed from the organization’s vision. We need processes in place that reveal these shortcomings while offering prescriptive feedback and plans to help us practice healthier behaviors. It will require unusual courage to acknowledge our shortcomings and persistent discipline to change our behavior.

Since I’m not an inventor, don’t expect the debut of a new monitoring device anytime soon. Instead, I invite you to dialogue with me and other leaders about creative ways to observe and measure leadership effectiveness. Perhaps together we can model leadership behavior that becomes the standard for others to emulate, not for 24-hour periods but by creating legacies that last a lifetime.