New Year’s Reconciliations

As 2012 draws to a close many of us, leaders included, pause to reflect on the past year and consider what lies ahead in the new one Some will choose to assemble a list of resolutions they hope will make them healthier, happier, or more successful. Most, if not all, of these New Year’s promises will be discarded within a few weeks. It’s a ritual that has been repeated many times.

This past year has been especially challenging for many of us. The nation has been struggling to regain its economic footing, all while facing an impending fiscal cliff on January 1, 2013. An acrimonious political campaign for president pitted social classes against one another and created legislative gridlock in Washington, D.C. Weather-related disasters destroyed property and dreams for hundreds of persons. Mass shootings have dominated the 24-hour news cycle.

In the midst of all this turmoil it seems we need more reconciliation and less resolutions for 2013. The dictionary defines reconciliation as the reestablishment of friendly relations and includes a theological reference to the end of estrangement between a human and God. On a practical level, reconciliation offers a chance at a new relationship whether it is between two persons or God and humankind.

Perhaps one reason we resist reconciliation is because it involves confession and forgiveness, a willingness to be vulnerable and open about our shortcomings. Reconciliation also implies congruence between our inner lives and our outward selves. We cannot simply promise to behave differently, we must actually live that way. Reconciliation pushes the concept of resolutions to a new level.

My wish for 2013 is that leaders, and their followers, would make a new commitment to reconciliation - between themselves and their teams, between their business and its customers, and between the co-workers who show up to serve every day. I wish for political leaders who would focus less on winning and more on telling the truth and doing the right thing for the country.

Let’s make the New Year our stage for modeling reconciliation instead of offering more empty resolutions. That would be worth celebrating. Firecrackers anyone?

A Christmas Wish

It’s nearly Christmas and our consumer-driven culture is once again pressuring everyone to check their shopping list, not once but twice, this holiday season. The implication inherent in this annual exercise is that, unless you are longing to give or receive the latest gadget, fashion, or toy, your wish list is somehow incomplete. So we will acquire more stuff and worry about how to pay for all of it next year.

Several thousand years ago, a minor prophet named Micah delivered a very different wish when he wrote, “He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”

Imagine if leaders, and each of us, made this simple message our 2012 Christmas wish? What would happen in our workplaces if justice, kindness, and humility were practiced regularly? How might our families and communities be transformed if these principles and characteristics permeated our behavior with each other?

In a world where violence, fear, economic uncertainty, famine, and so much more seems destined to control our futures, these words offer hope and a prescription for redemption. Acts of justice, kindness, and humility are proof that faith is alive; that, in spite of evil, humankind can live differently when God is allowed to influence us.

Micah’s prophetic message is needed now more than ever. I wonder how many of us will listen and act?

Facing Our Fears

This past Friday our nation was faced with another tragic mass murder, this time including 20 children and six adults at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. We can only image the fear they faced as a lone gunman methodically killed them. Fear is a powerful emotion that can seize control, causing us to react in ways that may protect us from harm or paralyze us into inaction.

Leaders in business and politics can use fear as a tactic to influence how others respond to their need for power and control. The threat of retribution, or simply being criticized, may silence opposition or coerce compliance. Too few leaders will admit to their own fears and anxieties, something that doesn’t serve others well.

For those trying to make sense of last week’s events, fear may cloud judgment as they seek to place blame or prevent future acts of mass violence. It’s too easy to project our own fears onto others or allow our fears to energize us in other unhelpful ways.

Facing our fears requires a gentleness of spirit. We need to act in love and deep concern for the other person, regardless of how they may have treated us. When we disconnect the energy of fear from our experiences we can choose a different response.

There is plenty for all of us to worry about. Fiscal cliffs, threats of job loss, random acts of violence, and so much more are predicted or occurring every day. We need gentle leaders who model vulnerability and share their own fears with us. By creating safe places to identify our fears we can face them with confidence and generate better outcomes.

As we hold up in our prayers all those affected by the tragedy in Newtown, let us also pray that our own fears will remind us to lead with love and gentleness.

A Tribute to My Dad

A few of my regular blog visitors may have noticed I haven’t posted anything new since November 18. The past three weeks have been anything but normal for me and my family. On the Saturday after Thanksgiving, my father suffered a large scale stroke and passed away the following Wednesday. There will be additional opportunities to share some of what I experienced and learned through Dad’s sudden illness and death. Today I will honor his memory by sharing excerpts from a number of past blog entries where I reflected about the influence Dad had on my life and the lessons fathers can teach to their children. I hope you enjoy these redux posts.

My Dad has taught me many invaluable life lessons. Some were obvious to me as I was growing up, like the importance of working hard and the value of telling the truth. Others have become more apparent with age, like how to endure the pain of loss and disappointment or the challenge of forgiveness.

In my own role as father I am acutely aware of the need to be more generous with my time, to fight the urge to fix things, and to wait patiently when I would rather be taking action. Every parent probably expects too much from their children and fails to appreciate what is already there just waiting to be noticed.

A father’s love is less about doing something for your children and more about being someone they can emulate and learn from. A listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a place to return to - these are the gifts every parent has to offer regardless of age or station in life.

Dad taught me how to be vulnerable; or rather he modeled it for me. Early in my life I learned that it’s okay for a man to show emotion in private and in public. Tears shed in an unassuming way are a wonderful gift. I learned that being strong isn’t measured by how stoic and brave one can be but rather by the depth of one’s love and capacity to empathize with others.

I’m sure that Dad often wished he could have accomplished and accumulated more yet he never seemed discouraged by his circumstances. While our family income was limited, I never felt deprived or in want of anything. Dad didn’t complain about the material things in life. Oh, he may have wished the price of gasoline was lower but it didn’t fill his days with worry or change his approach to living. I have long ago exceeded my Dad’s annual salary, the size of his largest house, and how much money is in my retirement account. None of that is important if I can simply live with contentment like he did.

Then there is the faith factor, Dad’s most important life lesson to me. Knowing that your father is praying for you, watching him lead our family devotional time, and sitting next to him in church while he sang hymns of the faith has left a deep and lasting impression. My own faith commitment and interest in serving at my church is driven by those images and experiences. Knowing that I am loved and accepted by a Heavenly Father is Dad’s legacy to me and to our family.

Leaders are shaped by a lifetime of experiences, education, and mentoring. My father, and his influence, adds richness to whatever I have gained from these other sources. Thanks, Dad, for the lessons you have shared and for the way your memory will continue to teach.