A Tribute to My Dad

A few of my regular blog visitors may have noticed I haven’t posted anything new since November 18. The past three weeks have been anything but normal for me and my family. On the Saturday after Thanksgiving, my father suffered a large scale stroke and passed away the following Wednesday. There will be additional opportunities to share some of what I experienced and learned through Dad’s sudden illness and death. Today I will honor his memory by sharing excerpts from a number of past blog entries where I reflected about the influence Dad had on my life and the lessons fathers can teach to their children. I hope you enjoy these redux posts.

My Dad has taught me many invaluable life lessons. Some were obvious to me as I was growing up, like the importance of working hard and the value of telling the truth. Others have become more apparent with age, like how to endure the pain of loss and disappointment or the challenge of forgiveness.

In my own role as father I am acutely aware of the need to be more generous with my time, to fight the urge to fix things, and to wait patiently when I would rather be taking action. Every parent probably expects too much from their children and fails to appreciate what is already there just waiting to be noticed.

A father’s love is less about doing something for your children and more about being someone they can emulate and learn from. A listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a place to return to - these are the gifts every parent has to offer regardless of age or station in life.

Dad taught me how to be vulnerable; or rather he modeled it for me. Early in my life I learned that it’s okay for a man to show emotion in private and in public. Tears shed in an unassuming way are a wonderful gift. I learned that being strong isn’t measured by how stoic and brave one can be but rather by the depth of one’s love and capacity to empathize with others.

I’m sure that Dad often wished he could have accomplished and accumulated more yet he never seemed discouraged by his circumstances. While our family income was limited, I never felt deprived or in want of anything. Dad didn’t complain about the material things in life. Oh, he may have wished the price of gasoline was lower but it didn’t fill his days with worry or change his approach to living. I have long ago exceeded my Dad’s annual salary, the size of his largest house, and how much money is in my retirement account. None of that is important if I can simply live with contentment like he did.

Then there is the faith factor, Dad’s most important life lesson to me. Knowing that your father is praying for you, watching him lead our family devotional time, and sitting next to him in church while he sang hymns of the faith has left a deep and lasting impression. My own faith commitment and interest in serving at my church is driven by those images and experiences. Knowing that I am loved and accepted by a Heavenly Father is Dad’s legacy to me and to our family.

Leaders are shaped by a lifetime of experiences, education, and mentoring. My father, and his influence, adds richness to whatever I have gained from these other sources. Thanks, Dad, for the lessons you have shared and for the way your memory will continue to teach.