Family Reunions

This past weekend I attended a bi-annual family reunion organized by the first cousins of the Byler clan that I was born into. It was well-attended and included the usual good food (homemade ice cream topped the list) and inspiring four-part accapella singing, something our family is known for. There was laughter, plenty of family stories (some likely embellished a bit), and good conversation. It’s funny how these events have become more important to me as I grow older.

The leaders of this clan, my grandfather, Thomas, and grandmother, Ada, are no longer with us. Only three of the six sons survive, including my dad. Yet this gathering reminded me of the important role that leaders play in family dynamics. Their legacy affects future generations in ways they would probably find hard to imagine.

While my family shares common biological roots we also share a deeper spiritual and emotional connection. The values, beliefs, and traditions of our family bind us together and create a special atmosphere when we gather for these special occasions. Conversations can soon move beyond the cursory “How are you?” and “What are you doing these days?” to a substantive dialogue about family, church, work, or even politics. I found myself quickly engaged at many different levels.

What is the leadership lesson in my “walk down memory lane”? I know that not everyone who reads my blog has good memories or connections with their families. Yet we all belong to a family and, in a larger sense, share a family connection with everyone on this planet. What will be your legacy to the world when you have passed from the earth? Will you be remembered for your sense of humor, gentle spirit, deeply held values, and love for others? Will you be known for giving people a second chance, a helping hand, or a kind word?

Every day you can affect the lives of those closest to you – your family. At some distant reunion what will those who gather remember about your life and influence? Will they talk about your strict rules and controlling personality or will they recall your passion for life and how generous you were with your time, talents, and money. The choice is yours and, as a family leader, it is an awesome and humbling responsibility.