Lessons From My Father

In America the Mother’s Day holiday seems to have more traction. The marketing machines on Madison Avenue have successfully created a juggernaut that fills restaurants, ships tons of flowers, and sells millions of greeting cards. Tomorrow is Father’s Day and, while I may be biased in my opinions, it won’t receive quite the same level of attention. I will be the beneficiary of a Sunday brunch date with my wife. Our son, who lives nearly six hours away, already sent a thoughtful card with a funny insert. Tomorrow he will make his weekly phone call to check in as well. I really have no complaints about how I am treated on this annual holiday.

My Dad remains a source of love and inspiration. Over these past 53 years he has taught me many valuable and enduring life lessons. Space doesn’t permit me to recount all of them but let me name a few that are especially important.

First, Dad taught me how to be vulnerable; or rather he modeled it for me. Early in my life I learned that it’s okay for a man to show emotion in private and in public. Tears shed in an unassuming way are a wonderful gift. I learned that being strong isn’t measured by how stoic and brave one can be but rather by the depth of one’s love and capacity to empathize with others.

Lesson two is being content with what you have. I’m sure that Dad often wished he could have accomplished and accumulated more yet he never seemed discouraged by his circumstances. While our family income was limited, I never felt deprived or in want of anything. Dad didn’t complain, and still doesn’t, about the material things in life. Oh, he may wish the price of gasoline was lower but it doesn’t fill his days with worry or change his approach to living. I have long ago exceeded my Dad’s annual salary, the size of his largest house, and how much money is in my retirement account. None of that is important if I can simply live with contentment like he does.

Finally, there is the faith factor, Dad’s most important life lesson to me. Knowing that your father is praying for you, watching him lead our family devotional time, and sitting next to him in church while he sang hymns of the faith has left a deep and lasting impression. My own faith commitment and interest in serving at my church is driven by those images and experiences. Knowing that I am loved and accepted by a Heavenly Father is Dad’s legacy to me and to our family.

Leaders are shaped by a lifetime of experiences, education, and mentoring. My father, and his influence, adds richness to whatever I have gained from these other sources. Thanks, Dad, for the lessons you have shared and continue to teach. I hope Father’s Day isn’t the only occasion I will take to express my appreciation, admiration, and love.