Free from Fear

What are you afraid of? It is a question I have posed on a number of occasions this past week in the work I do with business and community leaders. What am I afraid of? This is a question I would rather avoid. Both questions are important because fear is real and it often rules our lives. From the smallest anxiety to the terror of a phobia, like heights or mice, fear paralyzes and controls. It keeps us from being free.

As a youngster growing up on a farm I must have been oblivious to the dangers around me. I remember climbing in the haylofts of our barn, getting up close with the animals (many of them much larger than I was), and learning to drive farm equipment before I had a valid driver’s license. While my mom would caution me to be careful she never prevented me from venturing beyond the safe confines of our yard to explore the “dangerous” place that a farm can be. I’m not suggesting that climbing to the top of a silo didn’t cause my heart to race a bit faster than normal, but fear didn’t stop me from doing the things I loved or wanted to try.

School and relationships seemed to change my ideas about fear. Suddenly I was faced with the need to be accepted and liked; the need to compete and succeed; the need to not appear to be afraid. And yet I was afraid. I’m sure there is some psychological term for what I experienced, but to me it felt like the pit of my stomach had turned to stone. Why were these things suddenly so important? Why, as I write these words, do I still sense some fear?

Leaders underestimate the power of fear in the workplace. Perhaps I should also say some leaders wield that power like a loaded weapon. Threats of layoffs, retribution, or being criticized prevent many of us from speaking up, trying new things, or even acknowledging our anxiety. There is a terrible emotional price to pay when fear imprisons us in this way. Sometimes it will cause us to snap and the results can be devastating.

Many of my current fears are based on those past experiences from my childhood and teenage years. Even though I am a different person now, I have learned to project those fears onto the situations facing me today. To get beyond this emotional barrier I must separate the energy of fear from the content of my experience (as Deepak Chopra suggests in his book, “Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul”). I can choose to believe the past still matters, or let it go and see a different outcome.

Leaders would do well to ask themselves, and those they lead, “what are you afraid of?” When we are calm and feel safe we can examine the fears that haunt us. We can learn to change the “self talk” that fans the flames of fear. We can help each other to see that fear isn’t a reflection of weakness. Leaders can model vulnerability by talking openly about their own fears. By creating a calm, safe place and redirecting the energy of our anxieties we may discover freedom from our fears.