Mirror Image

I’m always surprised at how few people seem to like their image as reflected in a mirror or displayed in a photo. Perhaps it’s because these seemingly objective objects are portraying things we would rather hide from view. In my case that would be a receding hairline and a “Peachey nose” (that’s the side of the family where I inherited my generously proportioned proboscis). For you it may be those wrinkles around the eyes, a double chin, or ears that protrude beyond where you would like. It’s hard to accept what we perceive as embarrassing biological features or scars that society deems offense.

To make matters worse our reflection shows up on almost any highly polished surface we encounter—car windows, stainless steel pots, watch crystals, even the eyes of our loved ones. Unfortunately many of these objects offer poor, or distorted, likenesses that make the mole on our chin twice as large or our beautiful smile seem grotesque. If you have ever ventured into a carnival house of mirrors you know how easy it is for our likeness to be manipulated beyond recognition.

It takes courage to accept the imperfect reflections that mirrors and photos represent. After all, they can only attempt to replicate the physical features on display and often fail because of poor lighting or settings (in the case of a photo) and bad workmanship or design (in the case of a mirror). A more experienced photographer or a finer mirrored surface will likely produce a different result. We may still not like the outcome but that is a different matter.

In the workplace, employees often reflect the qualities and values of company leadership. Not unlike the mirror and photo analogy I just described, these behaviors may seem distorted to managers whose view of their leadership abilities is overstated. Could it be that those who follow us really do act based on what they see us doing and saying? Don’t we have company policies and processes to ensure consistent behavior and quality service for our customers? It’s sobering to think that those we manage are simply reflecting our own bad behavior.

When my son was small he often mimicked my actions as I mowed the lawn, threw a baseball, or tied my shoes. At an early age we learn from the example of others and most of the time this practice is a useful tool for personal growth. We also know our children mirror the bad habits we engage in like smoking, drinking, and swearing. The workplace is no different and adults continue to mimic behavior that is viewed as acceptable by those in authority.

While there are no leadership mirrors in the office to remind us of our blemishes and imperfections, the people following us may represent the best reflection of our efforts we could ask for. Pay attention to what you see them doing. Be honest with them when you make a mistake. Show them the places where you still need to grow. Isn’t it time to acknowledge the role we play in how others see themselves? As leaders, your own mirror is a good place to start.