Now Hear This!

This past week several events provided evidence that most of us have much to learn about the art of listening, or should I say, listening well. One of these is a personal example where I was the recipient of above average listening techniques while the other is yet another instance of political leadership run amok. Let’s begin with the latter.

On Thursday the White House hosted its much touted Health Care Summit, a venue where both sides of the debate could share their ideas and perhaps find some meaningful middle ground. The only problem with this plan was how poorly it was executed. One would expect that where people disagree on an important issue, listening skills might be the best thing everyone could bring with them to the table. Unfortunately from the President on down it was clear by the behaviors and outcomes no one understands what it takes to be an effective listener.

Statistics posted in the newspaper on the following day indicated the President out-talked everyone in the room during the seven hour meeting and that was after a promise to listen to the ideas being brought by the minority party. It’s hard to listen to someone else's point of view when you are doing most of the talking. It’s also difficult to be taken seriously when you scold the other persons or show disinterest by speaking with aides while your opponent is talking. None of this makes sense when the goal is to listen for new ideas.

My personal experience with exceptional listening occurred on Saturday night at a Carrabba’s Italian Grille outside of Baltimore, Maryland. My wife and I were celebrating her birthday with a weekend getaway and the restaurant was our choice for dinner. The waitress was especially attentive to our needs by being a good listener. Upon discovering we were first-time guests she took extra time to acquaint us with the menu, including how we could customize any of their dishes. She also explained how the herbs and spices are prepared for the olive oil dipping blend used instead of butter with their warm bread. Throughout the meal she regularly asked questions and paid attention to any concerns we had.

There is quite a difference between these two opportunities to listen. In one case the participants talked past each other, talked to the camera, or talked down to one another. None of those actions encourages real listening and understanding. In the other case an attentive ear made for an exceptional dining experience and assured the restaurant of a satisfied new customer. The stakes are much higher for the White House Summit than the Carrabba’s restaurant. Unfortunately, only the business seems to understand why listening to customers makes sense. Our political leaders still believe that what they choose from the menu is what we all need and want. I think I feel some heartburn coming on!