Lessons in Unlearning

This past week included some experiences that seemed designed to test my effectiveness as a leader. On more than one occasion my approach to situations was questioned by others and I found myself suppressing a need to defend my actions and protect my turf. My leadership style in the workplace is quite deliberate and I am known as someone who likes to have a plan, who communicates in a straightforward manner, and who tends to be more reserved. Those behaviors generally make me an effective leader but proved less helpful as I reflect on the circumstances I mentioned earlier.

It’s easy for leaders to stick with what we know, to admit some practice, belief, or attitude works for us. While that may be true, there is value in unlearning those same old ways of doing things; especially if the evidence is clear that these behaviors are no longer leading to the desired outcomes. My reluctance to show emotion is too often viewed as insensitive by others and so I must unlearn this practice if I am to be effective with persons who need greater empathy.

Since I love to learn, the idea of exploring new approaches in my dealings with others has already motivated me to learn from this week’s shortcomings. I am reading more about my leadership style and the styles of others in the hopes of adapting my behavior the next time a similar situation appears. While I admit that intellectually these new approaches make sense, it will still be very difficult to switch from my preferred way of doing things, or in some cases, terminating the behavior entirely. Every leader can probably identify with this dilemma.

The process of unlearning shouldn’t be a one-sided affair. There are lessons other leaders I work with can also learn from my deliberative approach. For example, many leaders could benefit from a more structured approach to communication. Some of us require more clarity, a main point of reference, and a pace that allows us to follow along and understand where you are going. Another lesson might be doing your homework and not coming to meetings unprepared. My guess is that these approaches will require some unlearning for those who don’t share these leadership qualities that come more naturally to me.

Leadership effectiveness is not confined to only one approach or style. I have met many different leaders over the years in my work and each offers strengths that contribute to the issues and challenges of their organizations. Yet, every approach has its own inherent weaknesses as well. A willingness to unlearn the old practices, beliefs, and attitudes of your leadership style may also be necessary if you are to be viewed as effective by the other styles you encounter. Learning how to unlearn—it just might be the toughest leadership lesson yet.