Can You Hear Me Now?

For quite a few years an actor playing a nondescript employee used those five words to pitch the coverage capacity of Verizon Wireless. It’s too bad the marketing message focused only on the strength of the phone signal and not the quality of the conversations. Have you ever noticed how good it feels when someone really listens to you? Our feelings and needs are taken into account, we tend to be more relaxed and open, and we feel like our objectives in the conversation have been met. According to the International Listening Association (yes, there is an organization devoted to listening skills) 85% of what we know we learn from listening and 45% of our time is spent listening. Yet listening is the most underdeveloped skill of most people, and far too many leaders.

Mistakes in listening can be quite costly, not only in terms of relationships, but in real dollars. A 15-minute mistake caused by poor listening and made by a $20 per hour employee costs the company only $5. But imagine that same employee making an average of three such mistakes each week. By the end of the year those mistakes, in terms of time, have cost the company $780. If the organization has 600 employees doing the same thing the annual loss is $468,000. It’s obvious that leaders should consider the bottom line expenses of poor listening habits.

One reason we listen poorly is because of internal filters we use to manage the many messages our brain receives. One of these is selective attention where our brain makes choices about what we listen to based on information we need or preferences we have. Imagine sitting in an outdoor cafe on a busy street corner while you carry on a conversation with a best friend. Without some selective attention you would soon be overwhelmed by the sounds around you and might not hear or remember some of the key elements of the conversation. Yet many leaders are easily distracted while customers and employees alike are trying to communicate important information.

We also frequently employ selective interpretation which uses past experiences and knowledge to assign meaning, especially to messages that seem incomplete. Unfortunately, leaders who assume too quickly what someone is saying may miss the true intentions of the speaker, often with disastrous results. Without periodically clarifying what you are hearing, leaders run the risk of appearing insensitive and uncaring.

Finally, leaders also use selective retention, a filter that makes decisions about what information is relevant and necessary to retain. While we can’t remember everything, by assuming we know what is meaningful or important, we run the risk of overlooking details and assigning inappropriate interpretations to the facts being shared.

Each of these filters has a worthwhile purpose. Selective attention helps us focus, selective interpretation helps us understand the meaning behind the words, and selective retention helps us decide what is important. But each also has a dark side that hampers leaders who fail to recognize how these filters create problems and obstacles with their communication.

I’m always surprised by how little time and money is invested in teaching leaders and employees to become better listeners. With everything that is at stake it would seem like an easy decision to make. Perhaps it is because our listening filters have already tricked us into believing we are better listeners than we actually are. I’m blaming it on the fact that only 20% of what we hear is remembered for the long-term. I guess this blog will need to be repeated a few more times before the message sticks. With apologies to Verizon, “Can you hear me now?”