Can I Coach?

This past week I was privileged to host an online chat through iShade.com that focused on ways to develop a leadership team. There was a particular emphasis on how coaching contributes to this process. During the two-hour conversation I learned that some of the persons on the chat felt like they didn’t have the skills to be an effective coach. How would you have answered this question or addressed their concern? Here are a few of the insights I shared.

First, coaching is all about the other person. If you are focused more on your own needs than helping the other person to grow then you won’t be a very good coach. You must be an exceptional listener, both to what is being said and the many unspoken issues that are conveyed through body language. A good coach also observes the actions of the person being coached. Has their behavior changed? Is that old habit still present? Is something new emerging that might impact success?

Too many coaches try to solve problems instead of helping the other person to recognize what is happening and consider their own course of action. My clients often remark after a coaching session that they knew what was needed but our conversation helped them to discern more clearly and commit to a decision. That’s why coaching doesn’t happen in a vacuum. The person being coached needs to test what they are learning and report back on both successes and failures.

Coaches must focus on strengths, helping the other person to identify and leverage their natural talents. Don’t ignore weaknesses, just look for ways to minimize them. Sometimes this is challenging for the other person. Perhaps they have been trying to meet other people’s expectations for years and never learned to follow their own heart. A coach can be that purposeful voice helping them to ignore those messages and do what they love.

Finally, a coach holds the other person accountable without being a nag. Remember that change takes time. It may be weeks before a new habit is firmly established. While patience is required, so is a willingness to remind the other person what they are hoping to accomplish and why it is their responsibility to make it happen. Coaches don’t contribute on the field or court. They only prepare the player, offer insight during the game, and help them learn from their successes or failure when the competition ends. It is still the player that must give the effort required to win.

I would be disingenuous if I said that coaching doesn’t offer its own rewards. Of course there is personal satisfaction in seeing another person growing personally or professionally! What makes a coach effective isn’t just a set of skills or attributes, but a willingness to learn and grow too. I hope that is enough incentive to encourage you to answer “yes” when the next coaching opportunity presents itself. No whistle required!