Entitled to My Opinion

Have you ever tried to reason with someone who disagrees with your version of the truth? It’s tough to have a conversation, even a thoughtful one, when the other person so tenaciously sticks to their point of view, even in the face of evidence that shows they could be wrong. Psychologists might define this behavior as cognitive dissonance, where a person’s view of themselves clashes with their performance in any area. Lance Armstrong’s longstanding denial of using performance enhancing drugs is an example of this type of thinking. He is both a winner and a loser; a hero to some and a villain to others.

Studies suggest that we cling to our views and opinions because they may help to protect us. When I am faced with a new reality it is easier to safeguard myself if I imagine the other guy is the enemy (the dope with that weird opinion or strange idea.)

So how can leaders be effective when they know their opinions aren’t likely to be shared by others? One way to change somebody’s mind is to ask them to recall a time when they felt good about themselves. It seems that people who feel good about themselves are more likely to be open-minded. Leaders should practice this same technique in advance of potential confrontations so their own opinions don’t become barriers to the views of others.

Workplaces are also home to various groups - management and labor, Republicans and Democrats - and the pressure to identify with one’s group and defend its position is quite strong. The more threatened we feel by outside forces, the more likely we will galvanize our opinions to keep the group safe. This leads to inflexibility and less compromise or progress. When the self-affirmation approach described earlier is applied to these situations, a similar result is achieved. The less threatened your group feels, the more flexible and open-mined you will become about other opinions or ideas.

It is inherent in my nature to launch into a statement of the facts when I encounter someone who disagrees with me. That approach is almost always going to end badly. But, if I remain open-minded, and find ways to help the other person do the same, the argument that could have ensued is transformed into a helpful conversation instead. While I am always entitled to my opinion, it’s important to acknowledge my opinion isn’t the only one.