Top Line Dreams and Bottom Line Realities

Regular readers of my postings know that I like to see results. It’s a big part of my DNA…both a blessing and a curse. When I want something to happen I am driven and motivated to work hard, to achieve the goal. If the dream isn’t being fulfilled I tend to work longer and harder often at the expense of family, friends, and my own personal wellbeing. I have been a recovering workaholic for most of my adult life and in the current economic climate find it harder to resist taking another “drink” (translated working evenings and weekends) to see things through to completion.

I also have an inner destiny, purpose, and calling that drives me and I have written about this in previous postings as well. It graces many of my company marketing pieces and is how I measure success, choose clients and projects, and develop program offerings. My destiny is “To create a sustainable community of inspirational leaders.” My purpose is “To work with leaders who want to be inspiring and organizations that embrace them.” My calling is “To serve others and inspire them to grow through teaching, writing, and coaching.” These three components define why I am here on this earth, how I will be, and what I will do. I consider these my “Top Line” aspirations.

For those who know me well, I have been more than willing to share my “Top Line” dreams with them. They are mentioned during my speaking engagements, find their way into coaching conversations, and are included in my writing. By sharing these hopes with others I have been more grounded and focused in my work and in how I try to conduct myself. There has been a sense of clear purpose for me in recent years, something that was missing earlier in my career. I credit my “Top Line” for giving life meaning and for opening my eyes to new possibilities.

When my partners and I founded Higher Ground Consulting Group, LLC in 2002 these “Top Line” aspirations were present and helped define the kind of firm we wanted to become. Early in those formative years the economy was growing and we were successful in recruiting clients and achieving many of our revenue goals. The past 18 months have been a very different story (as many of you are also experiencing). Large and small businesses have been struggling to meet their revenue goals and many have been forced to cut expenses by reducing their workforce and cancelling investments in employee development. These decisions have impacted my company’s bottom line.

Now I face a dilemma that is somewhat unexpected. If I believe in my “Top Line” dreams, and being true to them, then why is my “Bottom Line” suffering? I have always believed the Higher Power in our universe created us for a purpose and that we are called to find and fulfill it during our lifetime. If that is what I am trying to do, then why is my business bottom line suffering? Does this mean I have identified the wrong destiny, purpose, and calling in my life? Doubts and fears have begun to creep into my very soul causing me to revert to old workaholic habits that I know will eventually cause real harm if they continue unchecked. I feel emotionally drained and lack the sense of clarity that has been such a part of my experience in recent years.

A group of dear friends that has been gathering monthly for sharing and support heard my story this past week and encouraged me to write about it. “Perhaps by telling others what you are experiencing you will discover your story is like many others,” they advised. So, that is what I have decided to do. Over the next few weeks, I will share my journey – what I am feeling and thinking, how I am resolving the challenge of a “Bottom Line” and “Top Line” disconnect, and whether anyone else shares this journey with me. You are invited to offer comments and tell your stories as the week’s progress.

I don’t know where the journey will end or exactly how this issue may be resolved for me. Instead I trust that in being vulnerable about my dilemma it will become clear to me that I am on the path God wants me to travel and, perhaps more importantly, I will know if my “Top Line” aspirations are the right ones for me.