Learning to Listen

I wonder how many books have been written on the topic of listening. A Google search reveals about 198 million web page references to the word and that did not include millions more references to various aspects of listening. I guess my entry will add one more place where people can read about this verb.

Leaders who wish to inspire those who follow them know the value of practicing effective listening skills. It isn’t easy, as you already know. I have no plans to offer any new secrets that might improve your listening prowess. Instead I wish to reflect on the importance of listening in the life of any leader.

Perhaps I should preface my thoughts by emphasizing that I believe leaders and followers must partner together to contribute toward organizational success. Leaders must create a culture where every person feels valued and appreciated, where leadership roles are shared, and where trusting relationships are nurtured. That is why listening skills matter.

If we are to achieve excellence in our products and services it will require a high level of commitment from every person in the organization. Learning will be the key ingredient in this pursuit of excellence and that requires a willingness to listen. Feedback from employees, customers, and vendor partners will be needed if improvements are to be achieved. What would happen if you spent at least 25 percent of your time listening to the ideas, suggestions, and needs of those you serve? We know that many innovations begin with careful observation of human behavior and the listening that accompanied this activity.

I have already suggested that building strong relationships is a key to effective leadership and successful enterprises. This isn’t possible if we are not listening to each other, hearing both the spoken and unspoken requests, feeling the unmet needs of those we are called to serve. Empathetic listening is a transformative tool that many leaders don’t practice or carry in their management toolbox. Considering the feelings and perspectives of others rather than asserting your thoughts on them requires disciplined listening.

Meeting the needs of others can’t happen by simply “not talking”. In fact, the absence of your voice in a given situation won’t guarantee that effective listening will take place. Most of us struggle to concentrate for more than a few seconds at a time. We are so inundated with interruptions that our attention spans have all but disappeared. Imagine if you became so focused on the other person’s words that you forgot what you had planned to say? Would the other person be upset or surprised that you actually heard them, perhaps for the first time?

There is also plenty of room for better listening practices in our company meetings. Many times we simply fill the air with noise because we have become so uncomfortable with the silence. Our fear of listening, even to the stillness of a quiet room, is a sad commentary on the problems many teams and organizations face. We can’t build trust when no one is listening to each other.

Leaders model behaviors that influence how employees treat each other and the customer. If listening is an important discipline shouldn’t we do it well and pass it on? Perhaps the reason we neglect this leadership skill is because we need control and listening defers our own needs in favor of the other person. That just might be the best reason to be a good listener.