Receiving Feedback

During my many activities this week I found myself giving and receiving feedback in a variety of ways. I offered verbal and written positive constructive feedback to a local retailer for their efforts to help me select and install a new HD plasma television. During training class this past week, I devoted an entire lesson to the topic, including how to offer feedback in a way that really benefits the person receiving it. And I also witnessed first hand a conversation where feedback was given and received. It is the latter incident that will be the focus of this week’s entry.

Friday nights in our house have been reserved for dining out since very early in our marriage. My wife and I often eat at the same local establishment, a favorite stop for many reasons, including the homemade products on their menu. Cole slaw is one of the items that frequently grace our table as a side dish. Last night was no exception.

When our waitress delivered the meal my wife commented that the slaw looked different. After we both tasted it the consensus opinion we offered each other was that perhaps their recipe had changed. While the side dish was still appetizing it lacked the look, texture, and unique taste we had come to expect. As the meal progressed my wife insisted that something must have changed and she proposed asking the owner about it. While this was a perfect opportunity to offer constructive feedback, I must admit the thought of making this request during a busy dinner hour seemed unnecessary. But our waitress was asked to relay our request and a short time later the proprietor appeared from the kitchen.

The feedback was simple and direct, “What has happened to your Cole slaw recipe”? The owner’s response was forthcoming and helpful. “It’s the cabbage”, she replied. “This time of year the produce has been picked weeks ago and lacks the quality and freshness needed to create our usual taste and texture.” She quickly apologized and I found myself doing the same for interrupting a busy shift in the kitchen. Her response reminded me why leaders need constructive feedback – both positive and negative.

She shared a quick story of another customer who quietly complained that her meal wasn’t very good as she paid her bill. The customer’s spouse stood by wishing the complaint had never been registered. The restaurant owner’s response was telling, “I wish you had told me about this earlier so I could have fixed the problem.” Untimely feedback usually leaves both parties feeling like they didn’t get what they needed.

What a powerful testimony to the value we leaders should place on receiving both positive and negative constructive feedback. Many of us cringe at the thought of negative feedback because we are more accustomed to being criticized for our poor performance or we find out about the shortcoming long after the event has passed. As these two stories illustrate, when feedback is timely and delivered in a way that shows the person you care about them, it is likely to be appreciated and result in behavioral changes. If our feedback features vague accusations or is delivered in an accusatory tone the impact will be quite different.

Leaders can create a culture where feedback is encouraged by modeling good practices and graciously receiving the comments of employees, customers, and vendors. While it may be difficult to hear about our shortcomings or failure to keep promises, by embracing feedback we gain new opportunities for personal growth, improve our organization’s products and services, and deepen the trust that is necessary for workplaces and marketplaces to thrive. So the next time you are faced with some “slaw" that doesn’t seem right, ask the cook about it. If you’re the cook, give an honest answer and fix the problem if necessary. Leaders need both of these ingredients to get the recipe right.