Being a Presence

I don’t enjoy networking. The obligatory smiles and handshakes, business card swap, and thirty-second elevator speeches seem better suited to extroverted social butterflies. Perhaps you share my disdain for this business activity that typically takes place in venues that are too small or too loud and is often accompanied by too many fried foods and too much alcohol. Of course they occur at the close of a demanding business day when my energy level has already been spent and I’m psychologically ready to crash.

In recent months I have made a commitment to attend networking opportunities as a way of meeting new business contacts, renewing existing relationships, and identifying possible prospects for my company. Based on the comments in my opening paragraph you can imagine how challenging this assignment has been. Yet I remain focused on being a presence at these chamber of commerce and community gatherings.

I have a simple strategy that makes participating more palatable. My plan is to connect with at least one person I wish to meet or who might need what I have to offer my clients. This approach allows me to study the crowd and find a name or company moniker that rings a bell. Sometimes the conversation falls short and other times it becomes an enjoyable, engaging dialogue. This past week the latter experience taught me an important leadership lesson.

I was attending a local chamber of commerce event when my eye caught the name badge of a woman and its familiarity prompted an introduction. I discovered we had spoken by phone a few weeks earlier and our conversation quickly established some common ground. When she produced a business card describing a small venture she was trying to develop her eyes shone bright as she talked about her love for the work she was doing and I found myself drawn into her dream.

At some point I encouraged her to “follow her heart”, advice I have offered others who share their personal and professional aspirations with me. She paused, gripped my arm, and said, “Your words are exactly what I needed to hear.” I could feel the energy shift in our conversation as we talked about her dream and reflected on the calling that God has given each of us to perform in this world. By being “a presence” that night, I was given an opportunity to serve as a source of encouragement to a new friend.

Leaders should acknowledge the importance of “presence” in the work we do. Sometimes that means lowering the anxiety level by modeling confidence and compassion in the face of adversity. It may involve comforting an employee whose personal life is shattered by illness or divorce. Presence can include celebrating successes in both private and public ways. Being present is mostly about listening for the deeper passions and dreams of others, so often hidden just below the surface of our public persona.

I am grateful for the times in my life when business peers and friends were present with me as I searched for clear direction or picked up the pieces from broken dreams. Now I’m happy to return the favor and teach others to do the same. So listen for the deep longings in the hearts of others and be present with them when they are ready to share. Your word of encouragement may prompt them to follow their calling. Being truly present makes even networking seem worthwhile.