Rebuilding Trust

In the biblical story of Joseph his brothers, in a jealous rage, sell him into a presumed life of slavery in Egypt. Years later, through a series of divine interventions, Joseph emerges as a vice-regent, a leader second in command to Pharaoh himself. When his starving brothers appear before him as accused spies Joseph decides to tell the truth and begin the process of rebuilding trust within his family system. In spite of the pain he had endured at the hands of his siblings, Joseph confronts the hurt and is reconciled to his biological family.

It is fairly common for me to encounter distrust as I work with leaders, teams, and organizations. In some cases the lack of trust is a response to some perceived past injustice, not unlike what Joseph may have felt. At other times leaders have failed to be truthful or authentic and so their colleagues and direct reports have a limited framework on which to build trust. The emotional and psychological stress of working under these circumstances usually exacts a heavy toll.

One simple way for leaders to begin building trust is to invite everyone to name their assumptions before a decision is made or a serious discussion gets underway. It is often quite amazing how tainted our personal preferences or ideas can be. Left unidentified they can cause a team or group to embark down the wrong path or choose an option that has little chance for success. Sometimes I invite team members to state their assumptions, presume they are valid, and identify the “what if” consequences for each. Then to challenge those outcomes, everyone is invited to presume their assumptions are not valid and again list the “what if” consequences. The resulting discussion will often include some breakthrough understandings that encourage greater trust.

Another tool for building trust is telling others the truth, not in a hurtful or mean-spirited way, but as an act of humility and love. Today’s political and business environments often resort to “gotcha moments” where persons are confronted with salacious events from their past (whether accurate or not). Joseph had plenty of evidence against his brothers but chose instead to forgive them and restore their trust. His act saved the entire family from experiencing almost certain death at the hands of widespread famine.

Rebuilding trust takes courage and may require the passage of time. But it will never succeed if leaders refuse to acknowledge their often flawed assumptions and fail to model genuine truth-telling. What relationship in your life would benefit from renewed trust? How trustworthy is your own leadership? The answers to these questions may not hold life and death consequences like Joseph’s did, but they are vital nonetheless. Perhaps this article can serve as a reminder to act wisely.